Marriage is a sacred bond built on trust, commitment, and mutual respect, and it is very easy to break those if we don’t set specific boundaries in our relationship.
While it’s natural and often necessary to interact with members of the opposite sex in various social and professional settings, it’s essential to establish clear boundaries to protect the integrity of the marriage.
When we do videos or podcasts on boundaries, we get people responding how boundaries are stupid and only people that don’t trust their spouse need boundaries. But boundaries are like a fence or wall that are there to protect your marriage, so why would you not want things to protect your marriage?
Before we jump into the article, check out our podcast episode we did on boundaries 109. What Are The Differences Between Rules And Boundaries… And Why You Should Consider Boundaries To Protect Your Marriage.
Throughout our lives, we have many boundaries. These boundaries are in place to establish what is acceptable and not acceptable. In our jobs we have boundaries. We establish boundaries with our kids, our inlaws and other family members. We know what we can and can’t do. And there are consequences for crossing those boundaries. The boundaries are there to protect everyone.
So why would we not have boundaries in place in our marriage? Our marriages are the most important thing (or they should be) to protect at all costs.
We posted a couple videos on social media about boundaries and it is amazing to see some of the comments. People state we are in prison and our marriage doesn’t stand a chance. Other people comment on how they allow their spouse to go out with ex boyfriends and be with whomever they want because they trust them. They state that boundaries are just rules to force on someone but it is important to note that boundaries and rules are completely different.
So why should we set boundaries together in marriage?
What are the differences between rules and boundaries in your marriage?
In this episode Nick and Amy discuss the difference between rules, and boundaries and why it is important to set up boundaries TOGETHER as a couple. If boundaries are never established, how would someone know if they are ever crossing the line?
Here are 10 boundaries that a married spouse should never cross when interacting with the opposite sex, along with examples to illustrate each boundary.
Emotional Intimacy: Spouses should never develop emotional intimacy with someone of the opposite sex outside of the marriage. This includes sharing personal or intimate details about their marriage or seeking emotional support from someone other than their spouse.
Example: Discussing marital problems with a co-worker and seeking comfort in their company rather than addressing issues with their spouse.
Secret Communication: Spouses should never engage in secretive or private communication with someone of the opposite sex, such as exchanging personal messages or calls without their partner’s knowledge.
Example: Sending private text messages to a friend of the opposite sex, discussing personal matters that they wouldn’t want their spouse to know about.
Physical Intimacy: Spouses should never engage in physical intimacy with someone of the opposite sex outside the boundaries of their marriage. This includes hugging, kissing, or any form of physical contact that could be construed as inappropriate.
Example: Sharing intimate embraces or lingering hugs with a friend of the opposite sex, crossing the line from platonic affection to physical intimacy.
Flirting: Spouses should never engage in flirting or romantic behavior with someone of the opposite sex, as it can lead to emotional or physical infidelity.
Example: Complimenting a co-worker on their appearance in a flirtatious manner or engaging in playful banter with a friend that crosses the line into suggestive territory.
Time Alone: Spouses should avoid spending significant amounts of time alone with someone of the opposite sex, especially in private or intimate settings.
Example: Going out for drinks alone with a colleague of the opposite sex or spending one-on-one time with a friend behind closed doors.
Sharing Intimate Details: Spouses should refrain from sharing intimate details about their marriage or sex life with someone of the opposite sex, as it can create feelings of intimacy and betrayal.
Example: Discussing the intricacies of their sex life with a friend or confidant of the opposite sex, oversharing personal information that should remain between spouses.
Comparisons: Spouses should never compare their partner to someone of the opposite sex or make derogatory remarks about their appearance, behavior, or qualities.
Example: Commenting on how attractive or successful a friend of the opposite sex is in comparison to their spouse, undermining their partner’s confidence and self-esteem.
Seeking Validation: Spouses should not seek validation or affirmation of their worth or attractiveness from someone of the opposite sex outside of their marriage.
Example: Fishing for compliments or seeking approval from a friend or colleague of the opposite sex to boost their self-esteem, instead of finding validation within their marriage.
Prioritizing Relationships: Spouses should prioritize their marriage above all other relationships and commitments, ensuring that their spouse always feels valued and respected.
Example: Canceling plans with their spouse to spend time with a friend of the opposite sex or consistently prioritizing the needs of others over their partner.
Keeping Secrets: Spouses should never keep secrets from each other, especially when it comes to interactions or relationships with members of the opposite sex.
Example: Failing to disclose a close friendship or emotional connection with someone of the opposite sex to their spouse, keeping secrets that erode trust and transparency in the marriage.
Establishing and respecting these boundaries is essential for maintaining the trust, integrity, and intimacy of a marriage. By communicating openly with each other and prioritizing the needs and feelings of their spouse, married couples can navigate interactions with the opposite sex with respect and fidelity.
Ultimate Intimacy
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