When it comes to sexual intimacy, every couple is unique, but there are certain things that many wives wish their husbands understood better. We took a poll and asked the wive’s in our audience what they thought.
Talking openly about what happens in the bedroom isn’t always easy, so here are 11 things based upon the feedback that we received, of what wives often want their husbands to know when it comes to sex, so whether you’re newly married or have been together for decades, these insights can help deepen your connection and make your intimate moments even more meaningful.

1. Foreplay Starts Outside the Bedroom
For many wives, intimacy begins long before clothes come off. Acts of affection throughout the day—like a loving text, a gentle touch, or helping out with daily tasks—can set the tone for a more connected experience later.
Foreplay isn’t just a prelude to sex; it’s about making your wife feel cherished and desired all day long. There is a reason we say that foreplay starts in the morning! Be created and have fun flirting with your spouse! Here is a text message I sent to Amy 🙂

2. Emotional Connection Matters
Sex isn’t just a physical act; it’s deeply emotional. Wives often want to feel emotionally connected to their spouses before they’re ready to be physically intimate. This connection can be nurtured through meaningful conversations, spending quality time together, and simply being present.
When a wife feels emotionally close to her spouse, it often translates into a more fulfilling experience in the bedroom.
Emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy really do go hand in hand, when you are emotionally connected, the sexual intimacy is a lot more likely to happen.
Check out this great blog article Why Couples Need Both Emotional And Sexual Intimacy To Thrive.

3. Communication Is Key
Wives appreciate when their spouses communicate openly about their desires, but it’s equally important to listen. Ask her what she likes, what makes her feel good, and what she might want to try differently. Creating an open dialogue about intimacy can lead to a deeper understanding of each other’s needs and preferences, making the experience more enjoyable for both of you.
4. It’s Not Just About the Destination
While reaching a climax is often the goal, for many wives, the journey matters just as much, if not more. Slowing down and savoring the experience can make sexual intimacy feel more connected and less rushed. Focusing on the process, rather than just the outcome, can lead to a more satisfying and pleasurable experience for both of you.
For the women who do have a hard time getting to orgasm, we have some amazing products that can really transform your sexual intimacy! Check out our amazing products HERE or by clicking the picture below.
5. Confidence Is Attractive
Wives want their husbands to feel confident in the bedroom, but that doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers or be perfect. Confidence comes from being comfortable with each other and willing to explore and learn together. Being open about your own desires and showing genuine interest in hers can build that confidence and make intimacy more enjoyable.
6. Variety Can Be Exciting
Routine can be comforting, but a little variety can also add excitement to your intimate life. This doesn’t mean you have to completely change things up, but trying new things—whether it’s a different setting, new techniques positions, or even just a change in pace—can keep the spark alive. Wives often appreciate when their spouses are open to exploring new experiences together.
Check out the amazing Ultimate Intimacy App for tons of resources, articles, non graphic positions and so much more to spice things up!
7. Respect Boundaries
Every person has their own comfort zone, and it’s important to respect your wife’s boundaries. If she’s not comfortable with something, it’s crucial to listen and never push. Mutual respect and understanding are key to a healthy and fulfilling intimate relationship. Over time, as trust builds, those boundaries might shift, but they should always be honored.
It is very important to talk about and establish boundaries for your intimate life. Here is a great podcast we just did on this very subject titled:
297. When One Spouse Wants To Try New Things In The Bedroom, But The Other Spouse Doesn’t.
8. Affection Doesn’t Always Have to Lead to Sex
Wives often crave affection that isn’t necessarily tied to sex. Holding hands, cuddling, or simply giving a warm hug can strengthen the emotional bond without the expectation of anything more. This kind of affection helps reinforce the idea that your love and connection aren’t solely based on physical intimacy.
9. It’s Okay to Take the Lead
While some wives prefer to be in control, many appreciate when their spouses take the lead in the bedroom. This doesn’t mean being overbearing, but rather showing initiative and confidence. Taking the lead can make your wife feel desired and can add a different dynamic to your intimate moments.
10. Intimacy Isn’t Just Physical
True intimacy is about more than just physical connection; it’s about being emotionally and mentally attuned to each other. Wives often want their spouses to recognize that intimacy can be nurtured outside of the bedroom through shared experiences, deep conversations, and acts of kindness. When you’re in sync emotionally, the physical connection naturally becomes more meaningful.

11. Patience Is a Virtue
Not every intimate moment will be perfect, and that’s okay. Patience is crucial in understanding and responding to each other’s needs. Some days, your wife may be more interested in cuddling than sex, or she may need more time to get in the mood. Being patient and understanding during these moments shows that you value her feelings and are committed to nurturing your relationship, no matter what.
Final Thoughts
Understanding your wife’s needs and desires in the bedroom can lead to a deeper, more fulfilling connection for both of you. While every marriage is different, these insights can serve as a starting point for open, honest conversations about what makes your intimate life together truly special.
Remember, intimacy is about more than just the physical—it’s about emotional connection, trust, and mutual respect. By keeping these 11 things in mind, you can continue to grow closer to your spouse and build a stronger, more loving relationship.
Finally, your wife wants you to download the Ultimate Intimacy App, so what are you waiting for!
Ultimate Intimacy