No matter what the movies say, not all marriages are perfect. Since each marriage is unique, it’s important to reflect on yourself and your own relationship. Talking with your partner will ensure that you both are making an effort to strengthen your marriage. Chances are that during your time together, you and your partner will face hardships. That’s why it’s crucial to take the time to ensure the right conversations are taking place, and you both are on the same page.
Below are five marriage problems that married couples may face, and how to solve them.
Communication is arguably the most crucial aspect of marriage. Through communication, couples can avoid unnecessary misunderstandings and arguments. Engaging in effective conversation comes with stronger bonds and a greater sense of harmony in the relationship. A solid connection is the foundation and base of many successful marriages.
Luckily, perfecting the art of communication is something that all couples can work toward. There’s an abundance of communication exercises that couples can take advantage of that will help partners feel more comfortable expressing themselves. The more couples engage in healthy communication, the more likely it will become a habit. Take time out of your day for you and your spouse to sit down and talk through anything that’s on your mind. No matter how big or small these thoughts are, if they’re communicated, you and your spouse will feel a greater connection.
2. Differences in Values
You’ve probably heard the saying ‘opposites attract.’ While this may be true in some relationships, it’s also a possibility that married couples with different beliefs may stray apart. Our values provide us with a foundation for every aspect of our lives; ranging from family to religion. Over the course of a marriage, difficult times and tribulations are bound to occur. Ensuring that you and your partner share similar beliefs will provide you with strength and a sense of safety in your own marriage.
Again, this issue also goes hand in hand with communication. Talking it over with your partner and remembering not to force anything will help you understand where your partner is coming from. If you take time to listen to your partner’s beliefs, you’re showing them that you’re acknowledging their thoughts and care about their principles. When you feel like you understand your partner more, couples can collaborate together to find a common ground in all situations and work from there. Communication and listening skills will go a long way in making sure your partner feels heard. If you feel like you and your partner have different values, take the steps needed to dive deep into one another’s thought processes.
Finances can be a major stressor for married couples and can sometimes create a wedge in the marriage. A 2021 Fidelity study found that 44% of partners still say they argue about money at least occasionally. With finances being a major factor for arguments, it’s important to understand how to tackle this issue. Financial issues can be anything from debt, budgeting, to even housing. Couples with large sums of debt may feel trapped and therefore feel more stress within their marriages. For example, if a newlywed couple is already struggling financially and they want to buy their first home, this may lead to feelings of tension and stress.
While there are many solutions, couples in this type of situation might consider something such as an FHA Loan to help manage some of the financial stress. An FHA loan is a great option for those who want to buy a house but have financial restrictions such as debt or bad credit. If overspending seems to be more of the prevailing issue in a relationship, they may want to create a budgeting plan. This will allow them to see where they are spending their money and how they can adjust to start saving. Overall, it’s important for couples to set financial goals and have a plan in place. Talking with your partner about where you want to be and how you’ll get there will make sure that both of you are on the same page which will lead to fewer arguments.
At the beginning of a marriage, everything is fun and new. This honeymoon phase is filled with date nights and flirting which can make married couples excited and feel loved. Unfortunately, the honeymoon phase doesn’t last forever, but couples can take steps to get that feeling back again. Couples often fall into a daily routine and struggle to be spontaneous with one another. Once that routine is being set, it may be difficult to break. By starting small with something such as a gift or making their favorite food can bring back that element of excitement. After these small changes, you can create bigger ones such as surprising your partner with a date night or a romantic getaway. No matter what size the surprise is, it’ll show your partner that you care and appreciate them. These moments of spontaneity will also help you remember why you fell in love in the first place.
At some point in time, all marriages will experience feelings of jealousy. While this feeling can be common in relationships, there are certain red flags to keep an eye out for. If you feel like the jealousy you’re experiencing in your marriage is irrational, you may have to dig deeper to understand why you’re feeling this way. Take time to reflect on your feelings and try to understand where these emotions are coming from. Examples of being irrationally jealous include keeping overbearing tabs on your partner, feeling insecure and fearful about what your partner is up to, or even excessively feeling the need to be in constant contact with your partner while away from them.
To combat this issue, try and figure out what led to this point. Are there trust issues? Is there an underlying insecurity present? Communicating these feelings to your partner is necessary in order to build a better foundation and move forward from jealous tendencies. The important thing is to not let these feelings dwell. It’s better to talk it over with your partner so that both of you can move forward.
Marriage can take a lot of hard work and effort. When trying to understand your partner, be patient and remember that this is something that’ll allow your marriage to be even stronger. Creating healthy habits and communicating effectively will put you and your partner on the right track to a happy and healthy marriage.
The best solutions for all of these obstacles is to keep the communication open in your marriage.
Talk about everything and assume nothing. If conversation in some of these topics comes hard for you, try out the Ultimate Intimacy Conversation Starters on the app, or the card deck. Ultimate Intimacy offers hundreds of topics to talk about and makes it easier to do so by just scrolling on your phone or picking the card. Topics include: intimacy, romance, finance, spiritual, family, and so much more!
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