It’s amazing what a shower and some deodorant can do. It’s also amazing what some lipstick and a fun pair of earrings can do. Literal life changers.
Comfortable is easy. But man, comfortable for too long just gets boring. Here are seven simple strategies to freshen up your marriage. Because little things can make a big difference.
- Change It Up
Recently I said to my husband, “We need to get out of the house and do something.” Let’s face it – comfort and routine feels nice and are at times essential. However, comfort and routine lack excitement. And no one wants a boring marriage.
Even small changes in routine create fun and excitement in marriage. For example, instead of eating dinner at the dinner table tonight, eat dinner at the dinner table by candlelight, or even outside. Instead of being intimate in your bed, suggest another place where you can be intimate. Be creative in how you think about your normal routine and find ways to get creative to experience more fun!
- Use What You Have
Our phones have become a crucial part of our day, and many couples find that they decrease deep connection. Ideally we limit our phone time in marriage. But why not try to use your phone to benefit your marriage, by sending affirming or flirty texts to your husband? Use your alarm and remind yourself to send ‘fun’ messages throughout the day.
- Practice Saying “Yes”
For a long time I felt like a Debbie downer (no offense to the many Debbies I know and love) in my marriage! Somehow I become negative and my attitude was poor about most everything. I then had a mentor explain how her challenge as a parent was to say “Yes” for one day to anything her kids asked. And it dawned on me – what if I did this in my marriage? I could ask for the Holy Spirit to give me discernment and instead of barking off a comment I could warmly respond with a “Sure, okay, yes.” So I tried. And wouldn’t you know, my husband immediately noticed and it brought us closer together. Just try it! Be open, ask the Lord for a renewed heart and attitude, and see what happens when you start saying yes.
- Have More Sex
Just do it. It’s the spiritual glue that holds you and your husband together. Not enough Christians are enjoying sex as much or as often as we should – and it’s apparent in the divorce rate, pornography addiction, and levels of satisfaction within Christian marriages. As wives, there are many reasons we can come up with to not have sex. But our ‘yes’ to sex is possibly the most important yes we can make for the sake of our marriage. The truth is, the more sex a couple has, the happier they are.
- Read
Strengthen your marriage today and read You And Me Forever: Marriage In Light Of Eternity, by Lisa and Francis Chan. Also, grab yourself a copy of Dear Wife: 10 Minute Invitations to Practice Connection with Your Husband. Don’t wait, order it today – you’ll thank me later.
- Release the Yuck
If you truly want a strong marriage, we’ve got to choose to let yuck go. The enemy wants you to focus on all the things your husband does to annoy you. But do not think on these things, as they will eat away at your marriage. News alert – we are all a mess. We are all born a sinner. Humility is the key, always – so choose to release the yuck. *If you are in a marriage that is abusive, where there is unrepentant or ongoing sin, or has patterns of dysfunction, please seek counseling.
“But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” -James 4:6
- Just Do The Thing
Couples often report they do not feel comfortable praying together. Although many couples want to pray together, they don’t. Because it is an intimate act of uniting with God, it’s no wonder we have some feelings going on inside – because praying together is POWERFUL! The enemy wants to KEEP YOU from praying together because praying together brings a deeper connection with you and your spouse. So just do the thing! It doesn’t have to be beautiful. Just lay your hand on your spouses hand and pray: “Jesus, we love you. Amen”
Wife Step: Choose one of the above and implement it today!
Amanda Davison is the wife to a Minnesota farmer, mother of three, and President of the nonprofit, A Wife Like Me. She is an author and speaker, and serves on staff at her local church, where she and her husband lead the marriage mentor team. Amanda is relentlessly sharing how her education in counseling and God’s word changed her life and marriage. You can be a part of the growing community of wives on Facebookor Instragram, and can find many helpful resources for your marriage at A Wife Like Me.
This article was reposted and used with permission from A Wife Like Me
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