Check out podcast episode 130. Do You Feel Like You Are Only Wanted For A Paycheck?
We do social media videos talking about all aspects of marriage. What is amazing is all the comments we get in some of the videos from husbands expressing that they only feel like they are wanted for a paycheck. Here are some of the common comments we get.
“I feel like my wife just want’s me for the paycheck”
I must admit, I never thought about this subject until we started getting all these same comments and it become clear that there are so many husbands that feel like their only purpose in life is to provide income to their family.
We also wanted to see what our audience thought of this so we did a social media poll asking the following questions:
As you can see, just over half of all respondents said they have felt that way!
In the poll and in comments, husbands express that they feel very unappreciated, taken for granted and lonely. They go to work early and come home late. There is no intimacy or connection with their spouse because their spouse is often too tired, or not in the mood. They are often getting rejected sexually. They feel like an “outsider” in their own family and feel like the only thing their spouse wants them for is their financial support.
The reason men live is to make their wife happy. When they believe that they are not succeeding, or they feel they have nothing to offer her other than a paycheck, they will look for other ways to feel appreciated and valued and will often seek attention elsewhere.
We recognize most the couples listening to our podcast or using the Ultimate Intimacy App are not in bad or toxic relationships, but we point this out because even good marriages deal with these types of feelings or issues, and if left unaddressed, the feelings can grow into bigger problems down the road.
If you are a husband that feels this way, or a wife that could be unintentionally treating your husband this way, you should talk about this and address the feelings you have.
- Now we also know that many wives feel unappreciated, and not valued as well and they need to be shown appreciation for all they do as well, but that is for a future podcast episode and article.
So if you are a husband that feels like this, what can you do?
- Sit down with your spouse and let them know how you feel and what you need from her in the relationship. Explain how important it is to you to also feel sexually desired. There is most likely a deeper issue that may need to be addressed.
If your spouse won’t sit down and talk with you, then write them a letter letting them know how you feel as we talked about in episode 128 What Do You Do When Your Spouse Won’t Talk About Sex…Or Other Tough Topics?
If you are a wife that may be intentionally or unintentionally treating your husband this way, what can you do?
Express to him often how much you appreciate him and all he does. Send him a text message, smile at him and give him a hug and kiss when he gets home from work. Express to him how grateful you are for all he does for you and your family. The little things go a long way.
Be affectionate with him (initiate sexual intimacy occasionally with him) as that is how most men feel loved (physical touch). Most (not all) men are really simple to please and make happy.
A big time radio show host shared a social media post that states:
All a man wants is to come home after a long day at work to a grateful wife and children who are glad to see him, and dinner cooking on the stove. This is literally all it takes to make a man happy! Give us this and you will have given us nearly everything we need.
This is so true. Most men just want a grateful wife who is happy to see him and a wife who respects him and will want to be intimate and close to him. If you want to see your marriage change in a positive way, express to your husband how much you appreciate him and show him that you love him and you will have given him nearly everything he needs.