Marriage is a profound bond of love and commitment, but even the strongest relationships can face the storms of anger and resentment. I once heard a great saying many years ago that holds true.
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Holding onto these negative emotions is like clutching a burning coal, planning to throw it at your spouse. In the end, you’re the one who gets burned.
Anger is a natural emotion, but when it’s nurtured and held onto, it can erode the foundation of your marriage. It festers and poisons the essence of love and understanding. Imagine a couple who were once deeply in love but are now separated by a wall of unresolved anger.
Also check out this article we did on this subject titled: Reasons Couples Hold Resentment, And How To Move Forward.
Take Sarah and John as an example. After ten years of marriage, their disagreements have escalated into full-blown arguments. Sarah clings to past grievances, using every mistake John has ever made as ammunition in their verbal clashes.
John feels constantly attacked and misunderstood, and the love they once shared seems distant, buried under layers of bitterness. Does any of this sound familiar? Many couples struggle with exactly this, and have a very hard time letting things go.
We get it, it is hard to let things go. But if you want to move forward, you have to!
In such situations, holding onto anger becomes a vicious cycle. Each argument adds more resentment, suffocating the warmth and affection that once defined their relationship.
The burning coal of anger only grows hotter, consuming the love that brought them together.
Why do we hold onto anger?
Often, it’s because we feel justified in our pain. We convince ourselves that keeping resentment close is a form of protection, shielding us from further hurt. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Consider Tom and Lisa. When Tom forgot their anniversary for the third time, Lisa’s anger simmered beneath the surface. She chose to bottle up her feelings, thinking that confronting Tom would only lead to more disappointment.
Over time, her resentment grew, poisoning their interactions and driving a wedge between them. By holding onto her anger, Lisa was eroding the very foundation of their marriage.
What’s the solution?
Just as holding onto a burning coal only harms you, clinging to anger destroys the essence of your marriage. Instead, choose forgiveness and understanding.
This reminds us that we have all made past mistakes and we need to forgive. Remember that forgiving doesn’t mean to forget, but we can’t keep bringing it up to hurt our spouse.
Sarah and John, for instance, eventually realized that their marriage was on the brink of collapse. They made a conscious decision to let go of their anger and embrace empathy. Through open communication and genuine forgiveness, they rebuilt the trust and love that had been lost.
Similarly, Lisa found relief in expressing her feelings to Tom. Rather than burying her anger, she shared it with him constructively. Through heartfelt conversations and mutual understanding, they were able to repair the cracks in their marriage and emerge stronger.
In conclusion, holding onto anger or resentment is like poisoning the well of your marriage. It destroys the fabric of love and trust, leaving behind a hollow shell of what once was. Let go of the burning coal and embrace the healing power of forgiveness. Your marriage will thank you for it.
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