24 Jan

We all know that parenthood is a beautiful, rewarding journey, but let’s face it—raising kids often comes with sleepless nights, endless demands, and a shrinking sense of personal time. While we focus so much energy on being good parents, we sometimes forget one critical truth: a strong marriage is the foundation of a thriving family.

If your kids are unintentionally wrecking your sex life and marriage, it’s time to ask yourself: Are you allowing it to happen?

Here’s how you can protect your marriage and ensure your relationship flourishes, even in the busiest seasons of parenting.

1. Set Boundaries with Your Kids

Kids are great at testing limits, but your marriage needs its own sacred space. Establish clear boundaries that remind your children of one key fact: Mom and Dad need time together. Whether it’s uninterrupted conversations, a lock on your bedroom door, or a rule about when it’s appropriate to interrupt, boundaries signal to your kids that your relationship with your spouse matters.

Why it’s important:
Setting boundaries teaches children to respect your marriage and shows them that healthy relationships require intentional time and effort.

2. Schedule “Couple Time” Only

It’s easy to let kids monopolize your calendar, but prioritizing time with your spouse is essential. Whether it’s 30 minutes to chat after dinner, a regular date night, or a weekend away, carve out consistent time to connect.

Why it’s important:
Couple time allows you to reconnect emotionally and physically, keeping your marriage strong and resilient against life’s stresses.

3. Teach Your Kids Independence

Kids thrive on attention, but fostering independence is a gift to them—and your marriage. Encourage them to play alone, do age-appropriate chores, or solve minor problems without constant intervention.

Why it’s important:
By teaching your kids to be self-sufficient, you free up time and energy to focus on your relationship. Plus, you’re raising confident, capable individuals.

4. Manage the Loads Together

The mental and physical load of parenting and running a household can feel overwhelming, especially when it falls unevenly. Work with your spouse to share responsibilities and lighten the burden.

Why it’s important:
Shared responsibilities reduce stress and foster teamwork, creating a stronger sense of partnership and more space for intimacy.

5. Don’t Overschedule

Soccer practice, piano lessons, tutoring—modern parenting often means living life at full throttle. But too many activities can leave you and your spouse exhausted, with no time to nurture your relationship.

Why it’s important:
A simpler schedule means more energy and time for what matters most: connecting with your spouse and enjoying your family.

6. Have Open and Honest Communication with Your Kids and Spouse

Talk openly with your kids about the importance of your marriage. Let them know why you need time with your spouse, and discuss family schedules as a team. Equally important, maintain honest communication with your spouse about your needs and desires.

Why it’s important:
Clear communication fosters understanding, minimizes resentment, and ensures everyone’s needs are acknowledged and addressed.

7. Be a Role Model for Your Kids

Your kids are watching—and learning. Show them what a loving, respectful, and connected marriage looks like. Let them see you prioritize your spouse, resolve conflicts with kindness, and show affection.

Why it’s important:
You’re teaching your children how to build and maintain healthy relationships of their own one day.

8. Plan and Schedule Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy doesn’t have to be spontaneous to be meaningful. Plan for it, just as you would any important event. Knowing it’s on the calendar gives you both something to look forward to.

Why it’s important:
Scheduled intimacy ensures that your physical connection remains a priority, even in the busiest seasons of life.

You can also check out this article about why scheduling sex isn’t as weird as you think!

9. Invest in Marriage Resources

Strengthening your marriage is an ongoing process. Whether it’s playing an intimacy game, using an app, reading a marriage book, or attending a retreat, prioritize resources that deepen your connection.

Why it’s important:
Investing in your marriage keeps it fresh, fun, and fulfilling, allowing you to continue growing together.

10. DATE NIGHT!!

Never underestimate the power of date night. Whether it’s a fancy dinner, a movie, or a quiet evening at home, make date nights a non-negotiable part of your routine.

Why it’s important:
Date nights rekindle romance, give you time to relax and laugh together, and remind you why you fell in love in the first place.

Date night has been a game changer in our marriage and we attribute the transformation in your relationship a great deal to having date nights! After all, you feel in love, got to know each other, had fun and formed your relationship through dating, so why do we stop when we get married?

Final Thoughts

Your marriage is the bedrock of your family, and nurturing it is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids. By setting boundaries, prioritizing couple time, and modeling a healthy relationship, you’re not only protecting your marriage—you’re teaching your children what love, respect, and connection look like.

So take a moment today to ask yourself: Are you unintentionally allowing parenting to overshadow your marriage? If so, now’s the time to make a change—for your sake, your spouse’s, and your family’s.

Your marriage deserves it!

Ultimate Intimacy


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