06 May

Sexual intimacy is a vital aspect of any marriage, and it is essential for couples to connect and enjoy their physical relationship to strengthen their bond. Unfortunately, various barriers often hinder couples from achieving “ultimate intimacy” in their sexual relationship. These barriers can stem from a lack of communication, negative self-image or self-love, stress, anxiety, past traumas or experiences, uncomfortable sex, fear of not pleasing a spouse, and distractions. However, with good communication, couples can overcome these barriers and enjoy a fulfilling sex life.

Communication

Effective communication is crucial in any relationship, including sexual relationships. It can be challenging to talk about sex, especially if you fear rejection or your spouse’s response. However, by opening up and discussing your fears, concerns, and desires, you can resolve any barrier that is hindering your sexual intimacy. By doing so, you can strengthen your bond, improve your understanding of each other, and achieve a fulfilling sex life.

To improve communication in your marriage, you can set goals together. For instance, you can spend at least 20 minutes each night talking before bed, set aside time each week for a date, or ask each other before bed what was good or hard about their day. By setting these goals, you can create an environment of open communication that will make it easier to discuss your sexual needs and desires.

Check out this great podcast episode: 138. Sexpectations In Marriage.. And Why You Need To Talk About Them Together!

Negative Self Image

Negative self-image or self-love can also be a barrier to sexual intimacy in marriage. If you or your spouse struggles with self-love or negative self-image, it can be challenging to enjoy sex or feel comfortable in your body. To address this barrier, you can set goals together to work on connecting in this area. For example, you can work out together several times a week, compliment each other at least once a day, or spend more time on self-care.

Stress, Anxiety and Depression

Stress, anxiety, and depression can also hinder sexual intimacy in marriage. If one spouse is stressed or anxious, it can be difficult to focus on the physical aspect of the relationship. Therefore, it is essential to set goals together to help each other de-stress. For instance, you can set times to do certain chores that are not getting done, set time to take a bath and relax, or take the kids for an hour or two while the other spouse has some time alone.

Discomfort and Pain

Painful or uncomfortable sex can also be a barrier to sexual intimacy in marriage. If sex is uncomfortable or painful, it can be challenging to enjoy it. Therefore, it is crucial to set goals together to work on the pain or comfort issue. For instance, you can get some medical advice together, be more understanding of the situation on both sides, or spend a certain amount of time with gentle foreplay to learn more about the issue.

Distractions

Distractions can also hinder sexual intimacy in marriage. If you or your spouse is distracted, it can be challenging to focus on the physical aspect of the relationship. Therefore, it is crucial to set goals together to keep distractions at a minimum in your marriage. For instance, you can decide to have no phones in the bedroom, limit TV and phone use after connecting for 30 minutes each night, or schedule intimate nights on certain days of the week.

Here are some of the other common distractions:

  • Work: Long hours at work or a demanding job can leave couples feeling too tired or preoccupied for sex.
  • Technology: Devices such as smartphones and tablets can be a major distraction, pulling attention away from the present moment and making it difficult to connect together.
  • Children: Raising children can be demanding, leaving little time and energy for sex.
  • Health issues: Physical or mental health issues can make sex uncomfortable or difficult, leading to a decrease in sexual activity.
  • Lack of intimacy: Without emotional and physical intimacy, sex may feel less appealing or important to one or both spouses.

It is also essential to communicate with your spouse about your sexual desires and anxieties. If you are anxious about any aspect of your sexual intimacy, be honest and tell your spouse why. By doing so, you can make some goals together on how to help with anxiety.

Finally, it is crucial to set goals together to connect before sex. For instance, you can spend more time massaging each other, engage in more conversation starters each night, take a shower or bath together more often, or go on a romantic walk together.

If you feel like there are barriers that are keeping you from having the sexual intimacy you desire in your marriage, then check out the Ultimate Intimacy Sexual Intimacy Marriage Workbook! It has helped so many couples break down the barriers in their relationships.

Ultimate Intimacy

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