Sexual intimacy is a crucial aspect of any romantic relationship, yet it can often be extremely difficult for couples to discuss openly and honestly. Many people find it uncomfortable or embarrassing to talk about their sexual desires and needs, which can lead to misunderstandings and dissatisfaction in the bedroom.
You can’t even imagine how many people contact us and ask what they can do to have a better sex life. The first question we ask is “have you talked about it together as a couple?” and the response 90% of the time is no. We get it, sex is something that is very difficult to discuss, but there are things you can do to make it much easier.
Here is a great podcast episode that you will want to listen to:
138. Sexpectations In Marriage.. And Why You Need To Talk About Them Together!
Sexpectations are the expectations you both have about sex in your marriage. This includes frequency of sexual intimacy, who initiates, foreplay, toys, what is ok and not ok, scheduled or spontaneous.. you get the point.
Discussing sexpectations together in your marriage is vital! How can you have better sexual intimacy (or anything else) if you don’t talk about it? Sex plays such an important role in marriage and you both need to be on the same page when it comes to sex.
The more you discuss and talk about things in the bedroom, the more comfortable you are going to become, and the better the sexual intimacy will become in your marriage.
If you and your spouse struggle to communicate about sexual intimacy, know you’re not alone. In this article, we’ll explore some tips and strategies to help you start talking more openly about your desires and needs in the bedroom.
Acknowledge the importance of communication
The first step in improving your communication about sexual intimacy is to acknowledge its importance. Sexual satisfaction is a crucial part of a healthy relationship, and the only way to achieve this is through open and honest communication. By avoiding the topic or sweeping it under the rug, you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment in the long run.
How can you fix something if you aren’t willing to talk about it? You have to discuss it together as a couple no matter how hard it may be at first. Once you do it, it will become much easier to do.
Create a safe space for discussion
Talking about sexual intimacy can be daunting, but it’s essential to create a safe and non-judgmental environment for these conversations. Make sure you choose a time and place where you both feel comfortable and relaxed, and where you won’t be interrupted. Listen actively to each other, and avoid interrupting or dismissing your spouses concerns.
Start small
If you’re not used to discussing your sexual desires and needs, it can be helpful to start with something small. Perhaps you can share a fantasy or a new position you’d like to try. Once you’ve opened the door to communication, you can gradually build up to more significant topics.
Be specific
When discussing sexual intimacy, it’s essential to be specific about your needs and desires. Vague statements like “I’m not satisfied” or “I want more” won’t help you or your spouse understand what’s going wrong. Instead, try to be specific about what you like and don’t like, and what you’d like to try.
Being direct worked for us in our relationship and it can work for you as well. When you are direct and clear, that will alleviate any misunderstandings.
Focus on the positive
It’s easy to fall into a pattern of only discussing problems and issues in your sex life. While it’s essential to address any concerns, it’s also crucial to focus on the positive aspects of your sexual relationship. Share what you love about your spouse and your sexual experiences, and let them know when they’re doing something right.
Use some conversation starters to get the conversation started
If you’re really struggling to communicate about sexual intimacy, it may be helpful to use some conversation starters like the Ultimate Intimacy App has in the “Intimate Conversations” section of the app. Click on the images to download the Ultimate Intimacy App for free. Here are some samples of the conversations starters:
In conclusion, talking about sexual intimacy can be uncomfortable, but it’s essential to the health of your relationship. By creating a safe space for discussion, starting small, being specific, focusing on the positive, and seeking professional help if necessary, you can improve your communication and achieve greater satisfaction in the bedroom. Remember, open and honest communication is key to a happy and fulfilling relationship.
Ultimate Intimacy
Another great resource in addition to the Ultimate Intimacy App is the Ultimate Intimacy Sexual Intimacy Marriage Workbook. This workbook has helped a tremendous amount of couples overcome the barriers to sexual intimacy and be able to have open communication about it in their relationship, and of course have much more sexual intimacy together. Just click the picture below to learn more.
