Listen to the Ultimate Intimacy podcast episode 96 “How to divorce proof your marriage and thrive in your relationship.”
Marriages are being attacked from every angle in this day and age and people seem to give up so easily when things aren’t going right. We see this with the divorce rate around 50%, which tells us statistically only about half of all marriages will make it. This is a very sad statistic knowing that only about half of all marriage will make it! The impact of divorce not only impacts the spouses, but if there are kids involved it can have a lasting effect for generations as well as we know what broken homes can do.
But there is some good news… the divorce rate among couples who were recently polled in a Gallup poll THAT DID THIS ONE THING TOGETHER EVERY DAY had a divorce rate of 1%. That means a 99% success rate! What is this one thing couples do to divorce proof their marriage?
You have probably heard the phrase “couples that pray together stay together” and this is true. Couples that pray together daily have a MUCH greater success rate as you can see from the Gallup poll. There is something about being vulnerable and opening about and praying for and with each other for your marriage, and for others. This may sound like such a simple thing to do, but God does hear and answer our prayers and all he ask’s us to do is pray, talk to him and ask. For those that do, miracles will happen to their marriage and in their life. You can’t ignore the statistics and success rate for couples that pray together.
Gratitude is being grateful for the things you have and expressing it to God, and to others in your actions, and words. When you show gratitude it truly changes you. We live in a time when social media, advertising, tv and everything around us tells us we have to have more. We have to have an expensive car to be happy, we have to look a certain way to be happy, or we have to travel certain places to be happy and the list goes on. We are always wanting more and more seems to never be enough.
People that go through life always chasing more are typically not grateful with what they have and are often unhappy people, and have unhappy marriages. They may think the grass is greener on the other side and they are always chasing something more to make them happy, and often that negatively impacts their marriage.
All of our lives are different and unique. We are born into different circumstances, have different back grounds and experiences, jobs or careers, and family. These things make us who we are. We should focus and be grateful for the things we do have instead of being un grateful for the things we don’t have.
People that are grateful for what they have are much happier people in their lives, and in their marriages. Instead of focusing on all the things they don’t have, they are grateful for the things they do have and look at life through a totally different lense and perception.
There are a few things you can do to become more grateful in your life and in marriage.
- Make a list of all the good things in your life and the things you are grateful for. You will be surprised at all the things you have.
- Manage your social media and get the toxic things out of your life. If you are constantly looking at what everyone is trying to portray to you (a new house, new car, vacation etc etc) it is so easy to think of everything you dont have and get jealous, or envy others.
You become what you put in your mind (and body). Be very mindful and careful about what you are allowing to come into you and impact your life. Filter what you are going to allow and not allow and get rid of the negative and toxic things that negatively impact you.
“Don’t let what you don’t have, stop you from enjoying what you do have” – Married For A Purpose
Often we are so focused on what we don’t have in our life that we don’t allow ourselves to truly recognize, appreciate and enjoy all the things we do have in our life.
Connect Physically And Emotionally
Yes, have sex. The #1 and #2 cause of divorce (depending on which divorce attorneys website you are looking at) is problems with sexual intimacy (or lack of it). Couples that make sexual intimacy a priority in their marriage are much happier and a lot less likely to get divorced. God made us crave sexual intimacy and there really is nothing that can bring a couple closer together than being intimate together.
The problem many couples have is they stop putting sexual intimacy as a priority in their marriage, and if the sexual intimacy is not being met, often the emotional intimacy tends to go (and vice versa) and couples slowly grow further apart.
There are many reasons couples stop connecting physically. It could be kids, work, stress, lower sex drive, emotional intimacy needs are not being fulfilled, and MANY other reasons. It is important for couples to talk openly about these things. If you are having issues with connecting sexually in your marriage, another great resource that could help couples overcome barriers and connect physically is the Ultimate Intimacy Sexual Intimacy Marriage Course. This course covers so many aspects that often negatively impact a couples sexual intimacy. Some of the topics include:
- Making love vs having Sex
- Barriers to Intimacy
- Dealing with Different Sex Drives
- Desire Styles
- Sex languages
- Getting in the mood for Sex
- Getting prepared mentally
- At home date ideas
- Foreplay Fun
- Anticipation of Love making
- Sensual Massage
- Scheduling Sex
- Bedroom Routines
- Bedroom Atmosphere
- Initiating in marriage
- The Clitoris
- Benefits of Sex
- Things that destroy intimacy
- Overcoming sexual dysfunctions
- What is ok and not ok?
- Sex Position Fun / Trying new things
- Questionnaire and Goal Setting
- Setting up for lasting Intimacy
- Marriage Challenges