We all remember the feelings we had when we fell in love with our spouse. Nothing else seemed to matter or exist. So why over time to we seem to fall out of love and what can we do to fall back in love with our spouse?
1. Do the things you did when you first met
Chances are when you first met, you probably focused all of your attention on each other, spent every moment of your free time together and did fun activities together. When you get married, have kids and get busy with careers and life, it is so easy to get away from the things you did when you were dating that helped you fall in love. Now it is totally normal for life to change and become busier with kids, and all the things life throws at us, but if we can take the time to do the things you did when you first met, this is a great way to fall in love again. These include:
- Taking time to date each other and spending good quality time together alone
- Having deep meaningful conversations with each other, there are tons of conversations you still have not had! Learn new things about each other.
- Having FUN together!
2. Make time for sex… and to connect physically
Ok we know many of you are rolling your eyes at this but sex is vital to a good and happy marriage. Couples that are have sex often have some of the happiest and strongest marriages. You ABSOLUTELY need to make time to be sexually intimate with your spouse. If you have to, put it on a calendar or schedule that time together. There are tons of ways you can make sex more exciting and spice things up. Try playing a bedroom game, or a new sex position! You can find MANY great things to help spice up your Sex Life in the Ultimate Intimacy App! It’s FREE to download.
3. Connect Emotionally
Emotional and physical intimacy really go hand in hand. It is hard to have good physical intimacy if there is no emotional intimacy and vice versa. There are tons of ways to connect emotionally. Have good conversations together and communicate openly with each other about goals you may have individually, or together. Discuss your marriage and things you can do to make it better. Go on walks together, or even hang out on the couch and watch a movie or favorite TV show together. Hold hands, cuddle and connect with each other daily.
4. Share old experiences and go through old pictures together
It is amazing how remembering old experiences from the past can quickly bring back feelings, emotions and memories. Sometimes we look at our wedding pictures, or vacations we did together in the past, or event talk about experiences we went through and often those bring back good feelings that cause us to connect, and bring back the spark, or feelings of our relationship. This is a great way to fall in love together again.
5. Go on a vacation or get away for a few days together
Nothing brings back the passion or romance in a relationship back more than going on a romantic vacation together (just the two of you). There is something about being in a new exciting place together and creating new sexual experiences and memories together. You don’t have to get crazy and go to some expensive destination together, it could be as simple as getting a hotel for a night or two in a nearby city, or even going camping together. This is a great time to connect and fall in love again. The Ultimate Intimacy App has some great travel and hotel deals to destinations all over the world. Go check it out under the “Travel” section of the app.
6. Forgive and accept
Many spouses have a hard time forgiving their spouse for things that have happened or experiences in the relationship. This can be a huge hinderance in keeping a couple from growing closer together and finding love again. While there are things that are hard to forgive and may take time to heal, the faster we can get on the path to forgiveness, the faster we can heal our relationships and find the love we are craving in our relationship. Forgiving does not mean we forget, but it does allow us to move on and try to heal and accept things that have happened the we can not control.
All of those bitter feelings will add up over time and cause you to keep them at arm’s length, especially if these feelings aren’t properly addressed. Take a hard look at what is holding you back, let go of resentment, and strive for a more lighthearted approach to their flawed qualities.
7. Be more romantic and thoughtful to each other
Amy often reminds me that when we were dating I would always buy her flowers, leave her love notes and do those romantic things for her. But when we got married, I stopped doing a lot of those things and do them much less often. I imagine many of your relationships have experienced the same thing. It was not intentional and I love Amy more than anything in this world and want her to always be happy, but I recognize that we as spouses (both men and women) need to be mindful and try to do the romantic things we did when we were dating to our spouse now. Why should those things change? We can hold hands, give our spouse a hug or kiss and tell them how much they mean to us. We can buy them flowers, cook a nice meal, or leave them a love note or text message. Those things will go a long way and show your spouse how much you love them. Give your spouse our romantic and sexy coupons that include all sorts of great things to create Ultimate Intimacy in your marriage 🙂
8. Communicate openly together… about EVERYTHING
Talk to your spouse about everything! What your goals are together, what things you like sexually, your kids, finances, and other hard conversation topics. When you can communicate openly, you become vulnerable and trust each other and connect in deeper ways. Think about when you were dating… You would talk about everything such as where you wanted to live, how many kids you wanted to have, your beliefs, political views. Nothing was off limits and you connected and fell in love! Now days they say the average couple talks about 7-10 minutes total per day. How in the world can a couple connect when they are hardly talking each day? Find more time to communicate with your spouse and you will see your love for each other flourish and grow.
9. Turn your phone off
For many people the smartphone has become a “third wheel” in many marriages, making many spouses feel like they are competing with phones for sacred time with their spouse. How often do check the phone while talking with our spouse? How often does our attention leave the conversation when the phone rings, a text message or email comes in, or we hear a social media alert? I would guess more often than not when this happens our attention is then directed to our phone. We can’t wait to check that message, email or take a phone call.
Imagine you’re trying to have a meaningful conversation with your spouse and they are reading a book or playing a game on their phone while you are trying to communicate. What kind of message does that send? How offensive would that be? The reality is this is happening constantly in our relationships. We are competing for time and attention with our spouse and phone, and many times the phone wins.
If we want to fall in love with our spouse again, they shouldn’t have to compete with our phone for our time and attention. Show your spouse they are a priority over your phone. Here is a great article:
Another great article about this is:
Check out the Ultimate Intimacy App! The hottest Marriage and Intimacy App on the market with over 350,000+ couples that have downloaded the Ultimate Intimacy App.