By Ultimate Intimacy
Let’s be honest—sexual intimacy can either be one of the most fulfilling parts of your marriage… or one of the most frustrating. If you’re reading this, chances are you want deeper connection, more passion, and better physical intimacy with your spouse. And that’s not only okay—it’s good. God created sex for married couples to enjoy together, not just for procreation or obligation.
But here’s the secret most people miss: you can’t fix a sex problem without first looking at the emotional connection.If sexual intimacy is lacking, the issue usually goes deeper than the bedroom.
At Ultimate Intimacy, we believe amazing sex in marriage starts with emotional intimacy, unselfishness, spiritual connection, and practical tools that bring excitement and joy back into your marriage. So if you want better sexual intimacy, here’s where to start:
1. Build Emotional Intimacy Daily
Sex isn’t just physical. For most spouses—especially wives—emotional connection is the fuel that powers physical desire. If she feels seen, heard, appreciated, and safe with you emotionally, she’s much more likely to want closeness in every way, including sexually.
What this looks like:
- Ask her how her day really was—and listen.
- Offer affection without expecting sex in return.
- Speak her love language consistently.
- Validate her feelings, even if you don’t fully understand them.
According to the Journal of Sex Research, couples who report high emotional intimacy also report higher levels of sexual satisfaction. That’s no coincidence.
A great way to build stronger emotional intimacy is to connect on a deeper level through great conversations! Check out our great conversation starters, Let’s Talk About Sex cards and so many other great products to enhance your emotional intimacy.
2. Focus on Your Spouse First
One of the biggest intimacy killers in marriage is selfishness. If sex feels one-sided—if it’s only about release for one person—it becomes a chore for the other. But when you focus on your spouse’s pleasure, needs, and comfort first, everything changes.
Husbands:
Prioritize her physical pleasure first. Women are not like light switches—they’re like crockpots. Foreplay matters. Emotional connection matters. When you focus on her first, both of you win.
Be willing to try some different sex positions and find what brings her the most pleasure as well. Check out The Best Sex Positions For Her Ultimate Pleasure
“When a husband seeks to love and serve his wife in the bedroom, not just take from her, he unlocks the deepest levels of intimacy.” —Ultimate Intimacy
3. Stop Avoiding the Hard Conversations
Great sex starts with great communication. And we don’t just mean asking, “Are you in the mood?”
Talk about:
- What turns you both on (and off).
- How your emotional connection feels.
- What your needs and desires are.
- What’s working—and what isn’t.
Many couples have never had an open conversation about their sex life, and they wonder why they feel disconnected. Don’t wait for a crisis. Create safety to talk about these things now.
A 2017 study by the Journal of Marriage and Family found that nearly 1 in 3 couples reported that they avoid discussing sex altogether. For many spouses, talking about sex can be uncomfortable for a variety of reasons, from fear of rejection to feelings of shame, past negative experiences, or simple awkwardness.
But the truth is, without open communication about sex, couples miss out on deeper emotional and physical connections that could enrich their relationship and help them grow closer. That is why we created the NEW Let’s Talk About Sex Cards!
4. Use Intimacy Products to Enhance Your Experience
Let’s break the myth: There is nothing wrong with using tools to enhance your sex life—especially in marriage. In fact, we encourage it. Just like you’d use ingredients to spice up a meal, products can help ignite new sensations, reduce awkwardness, and make things more enjoyable for both spouses.
At the Ultimate Intimacy Store, our intimacy products are Christian, marriage-focused, and created to strengthen the emotional and physical bond between husband and wife.
Some favorites:
- All-Natural Lubricant & Body Butter Cream: Makes intimacy more comfortable and enjoyable.
- 5 Senses Bedroom Game Box: Designed to help couples explore and connect through all five senses.
- Truth or Dare Cards: Fun, flirty, and marriage-appropriate.
- Massage Creams & Aromatherapy: Sets the mood and promotes relaxation and connection.
All our products are designed for married couples, with the belief that fun, passion, and pleasure belong in your Christian marriage.
5. Prioritize Connection Outside the Bedroom
If your only connection is sexual, the intimacy won’t last. Passion is built in the everyday moments. Want better sex? Build a better friendship.
Try this:
- Go on weekly date nights.
- Text flirtatious or affirming messages during the day.
- Hold hands, hug, and kiss more.
- Speak kindly and with curiosity.
When your spouse feels valued and connected throughout the day, sex becomes a continuation of your closeness—not an isolated act.
6. Be Willing to Learn and Grow
There’s no shame in needing help. Many couples never learned how to have a healthy sex life. They carry baggage from their past, shame from purity culture, or just lack knowledge about what’s normal and good in marriage.
But here’s the good news: you can learn. Read books together. Listen to marriage podcasts. Use apps like the Ultimate Intimacy App to explore new ways to connect emotionally and physically. Growth is part of the journey.
“You can’t expect fireworks in the bedroom when you’re lighting the match with old, broken habits.” —Ultimate Intimacy
7. Create a Safe, Judgment-Free Zone
When one spouse feels criticized, shamed, or compared to the past, it kills intimacy. Create an environment where your spouse feels wanted, accepted, and safe.
Say things like:
- “I love being close to you.”
- “Your body is beautiful to me.”
- “I want to connect more deeply with you.”
Affirmation is one of the most powerful aphrodisiacs in a marriage. It builds confidence and comfort, which leads to more openness and freedom in your intimate life.
8. Stay Physically and Spiritually Healthy
Sexual intimacy is also affected by health—both physical and spiritual.
- Exercise regularly. It boosts testosterone, energy, and confidence.
- Eat healthy foods and stay hydrated.
- Get enough sleep.
- Pray together. Studies show that couples who pray and attend church together report higher marital satisfaction.
God cares about your marriage, including your sexual intimacy. When He is at the center, you’ll notice more peace, purpose, and passion.
9. Don’t Wait for Your Spouse to “Fix It”
It’s easy to blame the other person. But what if you focused on what you can do? Intimacy is a team effort, but your actions can spark new desire and connection.
Ask yourself:
- Am I being emotionally available?
- Am I showing up with love and patience?
- Am I making intimacy enjoyable, not stressful?
Be the first to lean in—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. That’s where real intimacy begins.
Final Thoughts from Ultimate Intimacy
Better sex isn’t just about better technique—it’s about better connection. When you pour into your emotional bond, act selflessly, communicate openly, and use the tools God gives you—including physical intimacy—your marriage can experience a depth of love and joy that the world rarely talks about.
At Ultimate Intimacy, our mission is to help couples create marriages full of passion, connection, trust, and fun. Because married sex is the best kind of sex—when it’s grounded in love, respect, and commitment.
If you want better sexual intimacy, start with emotional intimacy. Love selflessly. Use tools that enhance your experience. And never stop pursuing each other.
You deserve a marriage that feels alive, passionate, and deeply fulfilling—in every way. Like Amy always says, “Marriage shouldn’t be mediocre.”
Ultimate Intimacy
Want Access To More Positions, Intimate Games And Tons Of Resources To Enhance Your Relationship?
The Ultimate Intimacy App has been downloaded by almost 1 million people and has almost a 5 star rating with thousands of ratings and reviews! It has helped so many couples just like you transform their relationship both in and out of the bedroom! The Ultimate Intimacy App has several features and resources and was developed with the help of therapists and marriage experts.
The Ultimate Intimacy App includes Sex/Intimacy games, Truth or Dare bedroom addition, over 200+ non graphic sex positions with instructions, conversation starters, Would U Rather, hundreds of resources and articles, intimate chat, intimacy calendar, language of love quiz, products and so much more!
Download for free today by clicking on the image or App Store buttons below!
AMAZING Products To Transform Your Intimacy
We offer tons of great intimate products, card decks, games, lubricants, massage oil and so much more to spice up and enhance the intimacy in your relationship. We are a “Christian friendly” store and offer FREE shipping in the USA! Just click on any of the images below to go to our store.
