28 Jan

Men and woman are completely opposite in many ways, and when it comes to sex, it is no different. For many couples these differences can cause a lot of issues both in and out of the bedroom. Often times couples just use the excuse that because men and women are so different, there is nothing that can be done about it, and that’s the way it is and they just have to live with it.

Just because men and women are different doesn’t mean they can’t fulfill each others needs when it comes to intimacy. Especially when they understand how they are different and the things they can do for each other.

Intimacy Needs For Men

Visual needs

Men are very visual and have visual needs in their marriage. Because of this, they take in everything they see so naturally this also is real when it comes to sex. A man wants to see his wife naked and want’s to make love to her.

This is why so many men turn to pornography especially if things are not great in the relationship. We believe porn is evil and will destroy a persons life, marriage and everything that is good. However, we need to be honest about how visual men are and why they tend to turn to certain things, because they are visual beings.

Physical needs

Men tend to have much higher physical needs than most women. Men crave sexual intimacy with their spouse. For most men, it is not about the sex, it is about the connection and feeling desired and loved.

In fact over 80% of men say they will not be satisfied in the bedroom unless their spouse is satisfied sexually. This shows that for most men, sex in not just about their personal need, it is about so much more.


When a man feels respected, he will be more emotionally and physically connected to his wife. On the flip side, when he feels disrespected or (not respected) he will withdraw and be less connected with his wife. For many men, respect is more important than being loved.

Need his wife to initiate sex

The thing that turns a man on more than anything in this world is when his wife imitates sexual intimacy. This makes a man feel like the biggest stud in the world! It makes him feel loved and desired. If a man is always the one initiating, he is going to feel like his wife does not desire him or love him.

Intimacy Needs For A Woman 

Emotional intimacy

For a woman, it is completely opposite. Before she will have the desire for the sexual intimacy, she first needs to be fulfilled emotionally. What does this look like for a woman? She needs her husband to talk to her and listen to her and have meaningful conversations together.

Emotional intimacy can also include doing things around the house, being a good father to the kids and being present in the family. This means putting the wife and family first in his life.

Love language

A woman needs to feel love through her love language.

Let’s assume your spouse doesn’t speak Spanish but you do. You sit your spouse down and share the most beautiful thoughts, feelings and love for them in spanish. No matter how beautiful and amazing what you share and express to them is, they won’t understand a thing you are saying. You are speaking a language to them they don’t understand, and so your expression of love means nothing to them. 

This is exactly what it’s like to speak a different love language to your spouse. No matter how much you want to express it, if you aren’t doing it in the way “they” understand, it won’t mean much.

Feel loved

A woman needs to feel loved. What does this look like? As mentioned above, the first thing is to understand her love language and show her love through that. It may be a good idea for a husband to ask his wife what things he can do to make her feel loved.

These things might include help around the house, expressing it verbally and through texts or love notes. It may be time spent. Again, find out how she feels loved.

Help with daily life

So many men come home from work and think their day of responsibilities is over. They have no idea how much their wife has been doing at home with taking care of the house, running the kids around, the laundry, and many other things. There is no bigger turn on for most women than a husband helping around the house, helping with dinner and doing everything they can do to help their wife.

For other great ways to spice things up in your marriage, check out the Ultimate Intimacy App! It has a 4.8/5 star rating in the App Store and has over 500,000 downloads! Best of all, it’s free to download.

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