Sex is a crucial aspect and component of a marriage, and it is natural for couples to want to talk about it. However, many married couples often find it challenging to discuss their sexual desires, fantasies, and other aspects of sexual intimacy openly. This reluctance to communicate about sex can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and even sexual dissatisfaction.
We were one of these couples that had a very hard time talking about sex and our marriage and sexual intimacy suffered because of it. Many of you know that it was a bedroom game that changed everything for us. When we realized we could talk about sex and we started doing so, it completely change our marriage. Not only in regards to sex, but other though topics become much easier as well.
In this article, we will explore some of the reasons why married couples are scared to talk about sex.
Social Conditioning
Many of us have grown up in a society that has traditionally viewed sex as a taboo topic. In many Christian households, many of us were taught that sex was bad and something that shouldn’t be discussed. Then you get married and all of the sudden is it ok? As a result, people may feel ashamed or embarrassed to talk about their sexual desires openly. This conditioning can make it difficult for married couples to communicate about sex, even with each other.
Fear Of Judgment
Talking about sex can make people feel vulnerable, as they are sharing intimate details about themselves. In some cases, couples may worry about being judged by their spouse if they reveal their sexual desires or fears. This fear of judgment can make it difficult for couples to be honest about their desires and needs.
Lack Of Communication Skills
Effective communication is essential for any healthy relationship, but many couples struggle with communicating effectively about sex. Couples may not know how to initiate a conversation about sex, or they may not have the skills to express themselves clearly. This lack of communication skills can make it difficult for couples to have productive conversations about sex.
If you struggle with communication or how to initiate the conversation, we have great conversation starters in the Ultimate Intimacy App for FREE! These conversation starters are a great way to get the tough conversations going and get pretty heated 🙂
Different Expectations
In many cases, couples may have different expectations when it comes to sex. One partner may want to try new things, while the other may be content with the status quo. These different expectations can create tension and make it difficult for couples to talk openly about sex.
Fear Of Rejection
Finally, couples may be scared to talk about sex because they fear rejection. This is one of the biggest reasons for couples. The fear of rejection is worse than just not even bringing it up, and so most people don’t.
They may worry that their spouse will not be interested in their desires or that they will be judged for their preferences. This fear of rejection can make it difficult for couples to be vulnerable with each other and share their sexual desires openly.
So, what can married couples do to overcome their fear of talking about sex? Firstly, it is essential to acknowledge that talking about sex is normal and healthy in any relationship. Couples should work on breaking down the societal taboo surrounding sex and view it as a natural part of their intimate relationship.
Secondly, couples should work on building their communication skills. This can be achieved by setting aside regular time to talk to each other about their sexual desires, needs, and expectations. Couples should learn to listen actively and express themselves clearly and non-judgmentally.
Finally, couples should remember that they are in this together. They should work on building a safe and trusting space where they can be vulnerable with each other. Couples should support each other’s desires and work together to find ways to satisfy each other’s sexual needs.
In conclusion, talking about sex is essential for any healthy and fulfilling relationship. Married couples should work on overcoming their fear of discussing sex by breaking down societal taboos, building communication skills, and creating a safe and trusting space. By doing so, couples can strengthen their bond and achieve greater sexual satisfaction in their relationship.
Check out podcast episode 138. Sexpectations In Marriage.. And Why You Need To Talk About Them Together!
Sexpectations are the expectations you both have about sex in your marriage. This includes frequency of sexual intimacy, who initiates, foreplay, toys, what is ok and not ok, scheduled or spontaneous.. you get the point.
Discussing sexpectations together in your marriage is vital! How can you have better sexual intimacy (or anything else) if you don’t talk about it? Sex plays such an important role in marriage and you both need to be on the same page when it comes to sex. The more you discuss and talk about things in the bedroom, the more comfortable you are going to become, and the better the sexual intimacy will become in your marriage.
In this episode, Nick and Amy discuss what are good sexpectations, and the sexpectations they have in their marriage that work, especially since they both have different desire styles and drives. They also share specific ways to talk about your sexpectations and what you can do to have better sexual intimacy in your relationship.
Also for other great ways to learn about, talk about, and experience sexual intimacy in a very fun way, check out the amazing Ultimate Intimacy App! It’s FREE to download and has thousands of 5 star reviews! Join the over 600,000 couples that have taken their relationship and sexual intimacy to a new level!
