Relationships take effort, intentionality, and a little bit of magic. But let’s be real—sometimes, in the middle of laundry, work deadlines, and keeping the kids from smearing peanut butter on the walls, romance takes a backseat.
That’s where the 2-2-2-2 rule comes in. It’s simple, it’s effective, and it might just be the relationship game-changer you didn’t know you needed.
Many celebrity couples have indicated that following these rules, or something similar to it has helped them flourish in their relationships. Now I am never one to say we should follow celebrity advice, but this seems to work really well for our marriage as well and we have been doing this far before we ever heard of this rule 🙂
So, what is the 2-2-2-2 rule? It’s a straightforward but powerful way to keep your marriage thriving:
- Have sexual intimacy at least 2 times a week
- Go on at least 2 dates each month
- Go on an overnighter at least 2 times per year
- Go on a trip together at least once every 2 years
Sounds simple, right? Yet, these four habits can radically strengthen your marriage. Let’s break them down and talk about why they work—and why you should start implementing them ASAP.
You may also enjoy our podcast we did on this subject titled: 184. The 2-2-2 Rule Is The Key To A Happy Marriage.
Rule #1: Have Sexual Intimacy 2 Times a Week
Listen, we’re just going to say it—sex is important in marriage. It’s not just about pleasure (though that’s a nice bonus); it’s about connection, intimacy, and feeling desired by your spouse. When sex gets pushed to the bottom of the priority list, couples often find themselves feeling more like roommates than lovers.
Now, you might be thinking, “Twice a week? What if we’re too tired?” Here’s the thing: the more you prioritize intimacy, the more natural it becomes. Plus, science backs this up—regular sexual intimacy releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone), lowers stress, and even helps you sleep better.
It’s time to get more use out of your bed and test its limits.
Pro tip: If scheduling helps, put it on the calendar (yes, really). There’s nothing unsexy about being intentional with your time. And if you need to spice things up, introduce something new—maybe a sensual massage, a vibrating ring, or just getting creative with locations (within reason, of course).
If you feel like your sexual intimacy has gotten boring, or you need some excitement in the bedroom, check out our amazing products that are “Christian Friendly” that can help you really enhance your sexual intimacy! Instead of it feeling like something you have to do, you will be excited to “do” it!
Rule #2: Go on at Least 2 Dates Each Month
Dates aren’t just for teenagers trying to impress each other. They are a vital part of keeping the spark alive in marriage. When was the last time you and your spouse had a date where you weren’t discussing bills, kids, or work stress? If you can’t remember, it’s time to change that.
Going on at least two dates a month ensures that you stay connected outside of the daily grind. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. A cozy coffee date, a walk in the park, or even a Netflix movie night with no distractions (yes, that means putting your phone down) can work wonders.
Pro tip: Alternate planning dates so one person isn’t always responsible. Also, try something new every once in a while—bowling, axe throwing, dancing, or even a cooking class. Keep it fun!
Rule #3: Go on an Overnighter at Least 2 Times Per Year
Remember when you used to take spontaneous weekend getaways just because? Yeah, those days don’t have to be over. Life gets busy, and sometimes a night away from the chaos is exactly what you and your spouse need to reset.
An overnighter doesn’t mean you have to book a five-star resort (unless you want to—then by all means, go for it!). Even a staycation at a local hotel or a cozy Airbnb can do wonders for rekindling your romance. The goal is to step away from responsibilities and focus solely on each other.
Pro tip: If babysitting is an issue, swap weekends with another couple—watch their kids one weekend, and they return the favor the next. Everyone wins.
Rule #4: Go on a Trip Together at Least Once Every 2 Years
Now, this one might take a little more planning, but it’s absolutely worth it. Traveling together—whether it’s a beach getaway, a road trip, or even a fun adventure overseas—creates lasting memories and strengthens your bond in a way nothing else does.
Travel forces you to step out of routine, experience new things together, and reconnect without the usual distractions. Plus, there’s just something about sipping coffee in a different country or exploring a new city that brings back those “honeymoon” feelings.
Pro tip: If cost is a concern, start a travel fund. Set aside a little each month, and before you know it, you’ll have the budget for a much-needed getaway.
A great option for an inexpensive get a way for couples is the Intimacy and Adventure Marriage Retreat! The Intimacy and Adventure retreat offers the best of everything for couples looking to transform their relationship and connect on a deeper level, by strengthen their emotional and physical intimacy.
Couples will experience exceptional meals from some of the areas best dining experiences, thrilling adventures (hiking, slot canyon, and UTV) suitable for ALL skill levels, over 8 hours of instruction from world renowned marriage experts Greg and Julie Gorman with Married For A Purpose, and luxurious hotel accommodations.
Why the 2-2-2-2 Rule Works
You might be thinking, “Will these four things really make that much of a difference?” The short answer: YES. Here’s why:
- It creates consistency. When you prioritize intimacy, dates, and trips together, your marriage remains strong even when life gets hectic.
- It prevents the “roommate” syndrome. Many couples fall into a rut of coexisting rather than truly connecting. This rule keeps you engaged in each other’s lives.
- It makes marriage fun again. Let’s be honest—stress, work, and responsibilities can suck the fun out of life. But being intentional about your relationship keeps things exciting.
- It strengthens emotional and physical intimacy. Regular connection leads to better communication, more appreciation, and yes, a better sex life.
How to Start Implementing the 2-2-2-2 Rule
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t stress—start small. Pick one of the four rules and commit to it. Once that becomes a habit, add another. Before you know it, you’ll have transformed your relationship without even realizing it.
And remember: this isn’t about perfection. Some weeks you might only have sex once, or a month might go by without a date—life happens. The key is to keep coming back to these habits and making them a priority.
So, are you ready to transform your relationship? Try the 2-2-2-2 rule and see the difference it makes. Your spouse (and your future self) will thank you for it.
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