Almost everyone has heard of the 5 love languages, but have you heard of the 5 Sex Languages? We hadn’t either. The Sex Languages were developed by Dr. Emily Jamea, who is a certified sex therapist with Revive Therapy. We recently had the pleasure of having her on our podcast to discuss the 5 Sex Languages and how she came up with the concept and why they are so important. So lets go through them.
Check out the full podcast episode HERE
The 5 Sex Languages
Sensuality: The Language of the Body
This describes the degree to which you fully inhabit your body during sex. Learning to tune into each of the five senses enhances the quality of sexual interaction. Sensual embodiment can be thought of awareness “as” the body, as opposed to awareness “of” the body.
We all know how important our 5 senses are, but have we ever thought about how important it is to use them in our sexual intimacy with our spouse, and how those senses can make sex so much more enjoyable?
- Taste: Taste could include kissing your spouses lips or her body, using edible lube during oral sex, or whip cream, chocolate or other things while you are making love.
- Touch: Touch could be exploring your spouses body with your hands, kissing their lips, neck or other parts of the body, massaging your spouse, and closeness with your bodies.
- Smell: The smell of your spouses body, hair, cologne or perfume, a body lotion or oil, scented candles, essential oils, or flowers by the bed.
- Sound: Try making love while whispering sensual things to your spouse, letting them know what you enjoy or dont enjoy, making sounds, or turn romantic music on. Another great thing is use the Ultimate Intimacy App (under Intimacy Extras) to excape to the beach, or experience love making during a thunderstorm and other experiences.
- Sight : Put on something sexy! Also try keeping the lights on and looking into each others eyes while making love. It may be awkward at first, but it is well worth it.
2. Curiosity: The language of the Mind
People who maintain a sense of curiosity relate to their partner with a sense of wonderment and awe. Tapping into the erotic mind and maintaining a sense of openness to new things is one of the keys to sexual satisfaction in long-term relationships.
It is so important to remain curious in the bedroom. Try exploring each others bodies, try new things you both feel comfortable with. We created the Ultimate Intimacy App to help couples be more curious in the bedroom, find out new things about their bodies and what they like, and dont like. Being curious will absolutely take your sexual intimacy to a whole new level!
3. Adaptability: The Language of the spirit
Having an open mine is one step, having the courage to make change is the next. Adaptability in sex describes the degree to which you and your partner maintain a sense of flexibility in the things you do.
A great analogy Emily used in our podcast that we thought fit perfectly: She stated, lets say you go to your favorite restaurant where you always order the filet, but tonight they announce that they are out of the filet. What are you going to do? Are you going to get up and leave, or are you going to try something new on the menu? Chances are for most people, they are going to try something new! They are going to adapt. This is the same way with our sexual experience. When we adapt and try new things, we may find out that we love other things as well, not just “the usual”. Adapt to new things as a couple.
4. Vulnerability: The Language of the Heart
Vulnerability describes our ability to feel safe enough to open up emotionally with our spouse. People who have a high degree of emotional vulnerability have sex that is more meaningful and fulfilling.
Being vulnerable means being open with your spouse about everything, including in the bedroom. Tell them your likes, dislikes, fantasies, desires, and open up completely with your spouse.
5. Attunement: The Language of the relationship
Couples who are highly attuned anticipate their partners needs almost unconsciously. They are aware of ships in their partners engird and nonverbal cues that why learn to “communicate” without talking. Attunement brings all the other languages together in a way that triggers a feeling of flow during sex.
This is so true and we have seen this in our marriage. When couples are in tune with each other, they often know exactly what their spouse wants/needs without anything needing to be communicated. This is a wonderful place to be in life, and in the bedroom.
Another great analogy Emily used is: If two people are ballroom dancing and performing, they know each others moves, steps and rhythm without even thinking about it. This can also happen with sex when a couple is highly attuned with each other.
The Ultimate Intimacy App is a perfect tool to help you implement the 5 sex languages into your relationship. Check out the amazing app everyone is talking about by clicking on the picture below. It’s FREE to download!