When many people hear the phrase “open relationship” they may think of alternative lifestyles or non monogamy. At Ultimate Intimacy we use the term differently. An “open relationship” or “open marriage” is a marriage where both spouses are committed to radical honesty, full transparency, and open communication. It means nothing is hidden and both spouses feel safe sharing their thoughts, feelings, and needs with each other.
An open relationship in this sense is the foundation for true intimacy. Without openness a marriage quickly becomes a place of secrecy, resentment, and distance. With openness it becomes a place of trust, safety, and deep connection.
What Openness Really Means in Marriage
Being open with your spouse means you can talk about anything without fear of judgment or dismissal. It means you do not hide your struggles, mistakes, or insecurities. You do not sweep issues under the rug or pretend problems are not there. Instead you face them together as a team.
Drs. John and Julie Gottman, world renowned marriage researchers, explain that the strongest marriages are those built on trust and commitment. Trust is developed when spouses turn toward each other with openness instead of turning away or shutting down. The Gottmans emphasize that openness is about creating what they call a safe emotional space where both people feel accepted and respected.
When you have this kind of openness you do not have to walk on eggshells. You know your spouse will listen and care even if you disagree. That safety is what makes real intimacy possible.
Why Honesty Is Essential
Honesty is not always easy but it is always worth it. A marriage built on half truths or omissions cannot be truly strong. Spouses may believe they are protecting each other by holding things back but secrets eventually create walls.
The Gottmans have found that betrayal begins not with big mistakes but with small acts of turning away. Hiding feelings or avoiding hard conversations may seem minor but over time it erodes trust. By choosing honesty in every interaction you reinforce to your spouse that you are safe and dependable.
An honest marriage is also a resilient marriage. Life brings stress, temptation, and change. Spouses who are honest can face those challenges together instead of alone. Honesty invites accountability and accountability builds strength.
The Power of Good Communication
Good communication is at the heart of every open relationship. It is not just about talking but also about listening with empathy.
According to the Gottmans, the way spouses begin a conversation often predicts how it will end. They encourage what they call a gentle start up. Instead of attacking or blaming, start with statements like “I feel” or “I need.” This type of openness reduces defensiveness and creates space for real dialogue.
Another important aspect of communication is what the Gottmans call repair attempts. Even in healthy marriages conflicts happen. What matters most is the ability to stop in the middle of conflict and try to reconnect with kindness, humor, or affection. This is only possible when spouses are open about their feelings and willing to admit when things are not going well.
Many couples have a very hard time communicating how they feel about certain things, especially when it comes to sex. In fact, A 2017 study by the Journal of Marriage and Family found that nearly 1 in 3 couples reported that they avoid discussing sex altogether. For many spouses, talking about sex can be uncomfortable for a variety of reasons, from fear of rejection to feelings of shame, past negative experiences, or simple awkwardness. If couples can Talk About Sex, they can talk about anything!
Check out our great “Lets Talk About Sex” Card Decks to help you have better communication in and out of the bedroom!
Transparency Builds Trust
Openness also means living with transparency. This does not mean giving up privacy or individuality. It means choosing to live in such a way that your spouse never has to wonder what you are hiding.
Transparency can include:
- Being open about how you spend money
- Sharing how you spend your time
- Being honest about friendships and outside relationships
- Expressing your needs and struggles without fear
When transparency is the norm trust flourishes. You do not have to worry about hidden motives or secrets. Both spouses can relax knowing they are fully known and fully loved.
Emotional and Physical Intimacy Thrive in Openness
Emotional intimacy is only possible when there is openness. You cannot feel close to someone who hides their true self. Spouses who share openly about their fears, dreams, and feelings create bonds that cannot be broken.
Physical intimacy also deepens when there is openness to trying to new things and discussing what you like or don’t like in the bedroom. Vulnerability in the bedroom requires trust. When spouses are transparent about what they want, need and what they desire, they are able to experience deeper levels of passion and connection.
How to Cultivate an Open Relationship
If you want to enjoy the benefits of openness in your marriage here are a few steps to begin:
- Practice daily check ins. Take a few minutes each day to share how you are feeling and listen without distraction.
- Commit to honesty even when it is uncomfortable. Small lies or omissions may feel easier but they create distance.
- Invite feedback. Ask your spouse how they feel about the openness in your relationship and be willing to listen.
- Seek growth together. Read books or attend workshops that strengthen communication skills. Many couples find the Gottman Institute’s resources helpful.
- Be patient. If openness has not been part of your marriage it will take time to build. Each honest conversation creates a new brick in the foundation of trust.
Final Thoughts
An open relationship in marriage is not about sharing your life with others. It is about sharing your whole self with your spouse. It is about honesty, transparency, and communication that builds unshakable trust.
The Gottmans teach that trust is built in small moments when spouses turn toward each other. Every time you choose to be open you are investing in your marriage. Over time those small choices create a relationship where both spouses feel secure, valued, and deeply loved.
Ultimate intimacy is not possible without openness. When you and your spouse choose honesty and transparency you create a marriage that is strong enough to weather any storm and joyful enough to thrive in every season.
Ultimate Intimacy
What if one app could completely change your marriage—emotionally, physically, and intimately?
With nearly 1 million downloads and an almost perfect 5-star rating, the Ultimate Intimacy App is not just another marriage tool—it’s the #1 resource couples everywhere are raving about. Why? Because it works.
Created with therapists and marriage experts, this app is helping couples reignite passion, deepen emotional connection, and bring back the spark in and out of the bedroom. And it’s done the same for thousands just like you.
Inside, you’ll find:
- Exciting sex & intimacy games
- Truth or Dare: Bedroom Edition
- 150+ tasteful sex positions with detailed instructions
- Spicy conversation starters & Would You Rather
- Intimate chat & custom intimacy calendar
- Love language quizzes, articles, product recommendations & so much more!
This isn’t just an app—it’s your personal intimacy coach, playful bedroom companion, and emotional reconnection tool all in one.
Don’t wait to rediscover each other. Download the Ultimate Intimacy App today—because your marriage deserves more than average.
Download for free today by clicking on the image or App Store buttons below!
Transform Your Intimacy With Our Christian Friendly Products!
We offer tons of great intimate products, card decks, games, lubricants, massage oil and so much more to spice up and enhance the intimacy in your relationship. We are a “Christian friendly” store and offer FREE shipping in the USA! Just click on any of the images below to go to our store.
