29 Jan

Todays marriage challenge, found HERE, is to go on a walk and more specifically, hold hands while walking. Why? because holding hands has so many benefits.

I love holding hands. I love interlocking fingers. To me, it feels intimate, and that we are in a good place together, emotionally, and physically. It means a lot to me when my spouse grabs my hand and wants to just hold it. Why does it mean so much, and why is it so good for us to do with your spouse?

When you are dating, it is comes natural and is exciting when the person you are falling in love with grabs your hand. You hold hands in public, on the couch, as much as you possibly can because you can’t get enough of each other. But what happens when the new stage wears off? What happens to holding each others hands all the time?

In our marriage it has definitely diminished, not because we meant to. We still will hold hands if we are at a movie, or sometimes walking into a restaurant… but I really miss all the little spontaneous time we use to grab each others hands or caress fingers.

Our goal in our marriage is to bring the sparks back we had when we were dating, and hold hands a lot more! Here are reasons why it is so important to hold hands with your spouse:

Holding hands shows satisfaction in your relationship.

Research shows that couples who often hold hands express less anger and more satisfaction with their relationship than those who do not. Although I have not personally researched this topic, I do know that from personal experience, when me and my spouse are in a good place mentally and intimately, grabbing each others hand is much more common. The last thing I want to do is hold hands if we are in an argument.

Holding hands can soothe us. 

Holding hands “buffers the physiological consequences of [a] stressful response,” experimental psychologist Matt Hertenstein, Ph.D., told NPR.

thehealthsite.com states: “The sweet gesture of just touching somebody’s hands stimulates your body and triggers the secretion of many hormones. This make you feel a close connection to the other person. It can positively affect your physical and mental well-being.”

read the article HERE

Holding hands is great for your heart.

“Holding hands can calm your nerves and lower blood pressure. Some of the known factors of high blood pressure include stress, fear, etc. To cope with these situations, your body remains in an alert mode. In such a situation, your blood pressure remains higher than normal. And, any feeling of security can potentially bring your blood pressure down. This clearly means holding hands is not only great for mental health but also for physical health.” -thehealthsite.com

Holding hands can help you connect. 

Holding hands, especially when we interlace our fingers with another person’s, encourages the release of this oxytocin, or the “cuddle hormone.”

Dr. Tiffany Field, director of the Touch Research Institute states: “Clearly, we humans live to touch. But how does it sustain us? What’s happening in our bodies and minds when what we touch is another person’s hand?

Multiple studies — including one conducted at the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) — show that human touch triggers the release of oxytocin, aka “the love hormone,” in our brain. Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that increases feelings of trust, generosity and compassion, and decreases feelings of fear and anxiety.

Dr. Tiffany Field, director of the Touch Research Institute (TRI) at the University of Miami/Miller School of Medicine, says that holding hands is one of the most powerful forms of touch in part because the skin is a sense organ and needs stimulation, just as the ears and the eyes do.” read her article HERE

Holding hands can counteract loneliness.

Sometimes you can feel lonely even in a marriage. Not all marriages are balanced, where both people feel equal emotions. In some marriages, spouses live far apart, even across states or the world. But even under the same roof, some struggle with being united in marriage. If you are in a stage where you just aren’t feeling as connected as you would like, emotionally, physically, or mentally, start off by just grabbing your spouse’s hand. Hold it and see if that connection changes. Try arguing next time while holding hands. Try a one-week marriage challenge where every time you go somewhere together hold hands. Or every time you are sitting by each other, hold hands. See if you feel more bonded together? It might even turn into a habit that can change your entire marriage!

Holding hands can reduce pain. 

A study conducted by researchers at the University of Colorado at Boulder (CU Boulder), was published in the scientific journal the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS) on Feb. 26. The scientists behind the research aimed to explore “interpersonal synchronization,” which is essentially the idea that humans can sync up bodily functions, like breathing. Though other studies have looked at this topic, this is the first study to examine interpersonal synchronization in the case of pain.

The researchers found that when the couple was in the same room with each other, but not touching, there was slight synchronicity of their brain waves. However, when the couple was allowed to sit together while holding hands, their brain wave connection became even stronger. Interestingly, when the men held hands with their partners and became more in sync, they experienced more feelings of empathy — and the women’s pain subsided. Basically, hand holding was shown to be an instant, powerful pain reliever for the women, and also made the men feel bonded to their partners.

You can find the article By Kyli Rodriguez-Cayro HERE

Holding hands boosts love & bonding.

Holding hands boosts bonding. That one is pretty obvious if you ask me. I feel so connected when I am holding hands with my spouse. It is a different kind of connection to me. It’s not a “let’s make out” or a “let’s make love” kind of connection, although that is always good too. To me it is a sweet, sincere simple connection that states “I love you and just want to simply show you.” “I want to show everyone around us that I love you” or “I am proud to call you mine” kind of statement.

The Times of India states: “If your partner intertwines the fingers when he or she holds your hands, this signifies love runs deep through the veins of your relationship. It is also a sign the bond is based on more than just physical attraction. Love, trust, care and respect are the four pillars of the relationship.” (timesofindia.indiatimes.com)

Holding hands is a way of showing our affection and intimacy.

Touch has it’s own language.

Holding hands is one of the sweetest and most intimate acts in any romantic relationship, incorporating closeness, warmth, and trust in one simple and often public gesture.

Vanessa Van Edwards has devoted her professional life to studying people’s behavior and body language. Following her passion for understanding how we communicate without words, she founded the behavioral web lab, Science of People, where she studies some of the most common body language expressions. So, here are some of her interpretations regarding our hands and what we convey when we’re holding our partner’s.

  • Fingers loosely interlaced – conveys tenderness and reassurance
  • Hand wrapper – sign of protection and strong bonds
  • Firm grip – in charge of the relationship. 
  • Intertwined fingers – strong need of being with the other
  • Hand on top – protectiveness, as if they’re silently saying they have your back. 
  • Pinky grip – protectiveness, as if they’re silently saying they have your back. 
  • Holding Fingers – conveys a healthy and strong relationship
  • Relaxed interlocked fingers – flirtatious relationship
  • Wrist holding – intimate and passionate relationship

You can find her whole article HERE: https://culturacolectiva.com/

Even though you probably weren’t waiting for scientific evidence to prove that holding hands is good for you and your marriage, you you have some really good excuses to reach for your spouse’s hand! And even better if your or your partner’s love language is physical touch!

Take the love quiz

Want to find out if your spouse’s main language of love might be physical touch? Download the FREE ultimate intimacy app in the app stores and find out quick! Click here for more info

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