02 Mar

Several years ago, we committed to getting into shape, but over time, our enthusiasm waned. We carelessly stopped working out consistently. We ate extra helpings of mashed potatoes and failed to safeguard prioritizing what we said mattered; our health. 

Over the past few weeks, we re-committed to working out, eating healthy, and intentionally strengthening our muscles. For Greg, it’s a fun challenge. He hadn’t ‘back-slid’ as much. He hadn’t eaten as many side dishes of French Fries or given in to ordering a bunch of pasta or pizzas. For Julie, well, let’s just say she loves carbs and hates cardio. LOL. But, the more we plan for our growth together to strengthen our bodies, the more we see the benefits. The more we experience the benefits, the more inspired we are to step toward our desired outcome. 

Ever notice how we never drift toward greatness? Growth requires intentionality. Small habits either move us toward our desired outcome or hold the potential to sabotage our success. 

If you want a thriving marriage, if you desire greater connection and friendship, if you hope to grow together instead of drift apart, lean in as we expose three small things that can destroy a marriage and how to safe guard against them.

Find our readable version here:

Three Small Things that Destroy Marriages 

and Tips to Safeguard Against Them!

Though various sabotages attempt to cause disunity, we thought we’d identify three less talked about but extremely relevant ones. Lately, we’ve noticed we drift apart if we allow our calendar to get too full.

  1. Too Busy of a Calendar crowds a couple’s margin for connection. When we fail to prioritize our relationship, it takes its toll. Too many obligations or commitments squeeze out our need for ‘downtime,’ making it difficult to prioritize what matters most. 
  • Consider your schedule and evaluate what needs modifying. Does your job or other commitments constantly interrupt your quality time? Do you prioritize your hobbies to the neglect of your marriage? If so, what small steps could you take to communicate and intentionally connect?
  • Demonstrate an unrivaled and unmatched love for your spouse. Choose one practical way to prioritize your spouse and show how they are your number one priority. 

We love to calendar a day each week to replenish and relax together. We purposely hold different conversations surrounding dreams, intimacy, hopes, and discussions about what we are learning. We intentionally look for ways to discover one another, which brings us to the second sabotage. 

  1. Over-familiarity and complacency. Over-familiarity breeds complacency. If we aren’t careful, we tend to objectify one another like a piece of everyday furniture or as an unseen bystander. The more familiar we become, the more likely we stop putting our best foot forward and slip into a transactional attitude. We stop pursuing intimacy. We become loose-lipped, speaking spiteful, unkind, or insensitive words. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Do you want some good news? If you hope to mend your marriage, repair, or build it up, YOU hold power to heal and improve your relationship. Choose NOT to give in to being over-familiar with your spouse. 
  • Send yourself reminders to ‘SEE’ or ‘DISCOVER’ your spouse. 
  • Think back over the last 48 hours. Did your words damage your relationship or nurture it? If you’ve blown it, apologize! 
  • Take a moment to write a note or send a text to express your appreciation. Tell your spouse how you admire them. Give them a call and share a couple of specific things you respect and value about them. 
  • Make it a practice to FLIRT! 

Our third sabotage should come as NO surprise, but is often overlooked.

  1. Technology! It’s crazy how much time technology robs us of quality connection both in our marriage and in our family time. Think about your time on technology. 
  • Does your time on social media need restrained?
  • Do you spend more time looking at your phone and emails than engaging in conversation? We want to encourage you to put down the phone and discover your spouse. And, while you’re at it; carry the practice into your parenting too. ☺
  • Create a no phone zone. Share your intention for better connection and ask for creative ways to try something new together.
  • Shut off social media. Put away the computer. Turn off the TV. 

We’d love to hear your thoughts. Take a moment to provide your best practice to connect in the comments section below. And, let us know how we can be praying for you and your family. 

Visit marriedforapurpose.com for more info!

This article was reposted and used with permission from Married For A Purpose

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