What To Do When Intimacy Feels Awkward – How To Get Comfortable Again
By Ultimate Intimacy
Let’s be honest. Intimacy can feel awkward sometimes.
Even in the strongest marriages, there are moments when closeness becomes uncomfortable or unfamiliar. Maybe you have been married for a while and physical connection has faded. Maybe you are newly married and struggling to feel relaxed in this new chapter. Maybe life changes like having kids, going through trauma, physical changes, or spiritual struggles have shifted how you experience intimacy with your spouse.
No matter the reason, feeling awkward about intimacy is more common than you might think. You are not alone, and more importantly, you are not stuck.
In this article, we will explore why intimacy can feel awkward, what you can do to move past that discomfort, and how you and your spouse can begin to enjoy closeness again—emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
You Are Not Alone – Why This Happens More Than You Realize
According to a 2022 study published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, over 60 percent of married couples report experiencing seasons where intimacy becomes infrequent or emotionally strained. This does not always mean there is conflict, it often stems from life stress, changes in routine, physical discomfort, or a lack of communication.
For many wives especially, intimacy can feel more like an obligation than a joy. Dr. Julie Slattery, a Christian psychologist and intimacy educator, explains that “many women struggle to feel comfortable with their sexuality due to shame, insecurity, or a lack of understanding of their own bodies and needs.”
But husbands can experience awkwardness too. Expectations, pressure to perform, or feeling unwanted can lead to emotional withdrawal and discomfort.
The bottom line is this: when intimacy feels awkward, it is not a sign that your marriage is broken. It is a sign that something needs attention, healing, or rediscovery. And there is good news, you can absolutely get comfortable again.
Step 1: Identify the Root of the Awkwardness
The first step in moving past awkward intimacy is identifying what is actually causing the discomfort. Is it physical, emotional, mental, or a combination of all three?
Ask yourself and your spouse these questions:
- Do we feel emotionally connected outside of the bedroom?
- Are there unresolved hurts or unspoken resentments between us?
- Has one of us experienced trauma, shame, or anxiety related to intimacy?
- Are physical issues like pain, fatigue, or hormonal changes affecting our desire?
- Do we avoid talking about intimacy because it feels taboo or embarrassing?
Being honest and compassionate with each other about what is really going on can uncover the path forward.
Step 2: Start Talking Openly and Safely
Communication is the most powerful way to overcome awkwardness. Often, couples avoid talking about intimacy because it feels too vulnerable or uncomfortable. But that silence only increases the awkwardness.
Start small. You do not need to have a heavy or technical conversation. Use the Ultimate Intimacy app to explore gentle conversation starters about physical touch, emotional connection, and what you each enjoy.
Make it a judgment-free zone. Listen with empathy, not with the goal of fixing right away. Just hearing your spouse say, “This has felt hard for me too,” can create a new sense of unity and understanding.
When couples feel emotionally safe, physical intimacy becomes much more natural and fulfilling.
Step 3: Focus on Non-Sexual Intimacy First
If intimacy feels awkward, jumping straight into the bedroom may increase anxiety or discomfort. Instead, build emotional and physical connection outside of sex.
Try these ideas:
- Hold hands during a walk or while watching a show
- Give each other five-minute back rubs without expectation
- Share your favorite memory from your early dating days
- Hug for thirty seconds without talking
- Sit close during prayer or devotional time
These simple forms of connection help rebuild comfort, trust, and affection. They remind both spouses that intimacy is not just about physical acts, it is about emotional closeness, spiritual unity, and loving presence.
Step 4: Learn Together
One major reason intimacy feels awkward is a lack of knowledge. Many couples, especially those raised with limited or negative messages about sex, simply do not know how to talk about it or what is normal.
The Ultimate Intimacy app includes faith-based resources, education, and tools to help couples learn about intimacy in a respectful, God-honoring way.
You can also read books together, listen to marriage podcasts, or attend a marriage retreat. Learning together creates shared language and understanding—and it shows your spouse that you care enough to grow for their sake.
Step 5: Use Products That Promote Comfort and Pleasure
Awkwardness often increases when physical intimacy is uncomfortable, rushed, or unfulfilling. Many wives experience dryness, discomfort, or a lack of desire due to hormone changes, stress, or emotional disconnection.
Ultimate Intimacy offers high-quality, body-safe products designed specifically for married couples. From lubricants that reduce discomfort to intimacy aids, and massage oils that increase relaxation and connection, these products help couples feel more at ease and enjoy physical closeness again.
When physical touch becomes enjoyable rather than stressful, awkwardness fades and confidence increases.
Step 6: Let Go of Pressure and Performance
One of the biggest causes of awkward intimacy is performance anxiety. Whether it is fear of not doing it right, feeling unattractive, or worrying about satisfying your spouse, pressure kills passion.
Intimacy is not a performance. It is a process. It is a conversation between two bodies and hearts that evolves over time.
Give yourselves permission to laugh, learn, and be imperfect. Some of the most memorable moments of intimacy are not perfect, they are vulnerable, playful, and real. Just ask about our honeymoon night 🙂
You are not supposed to have it all figured out. You are supposed to be learning and growing together.
Step 7: Pray Together
Inviting God into your intimate life may feel strange at first, but He designed intimacy to be a gift, not a burden. Praying together helps couples reconnect spiritually and reminds them of the deeper meaning behind their physical relationship.
You might pray something like:
“God, help us draw closer to each other. Heal any areas of shame, pain, or fear in our intimacy. Teach us how to love each other well, emotionally and physically. Strengthen our marriage and fill it with joy, trust, and passion.”
When couples bring God into the healing and growth process, the awkwardness often gives way to peace and unity.
Awkwardness Does Not Mean Failure—It Means Opportunity
If intimacy feels awkward right now, do not panic. It does not mean your marriage is broken or doomed. It means something needs attention, tenderness, and intention. And it means you have a beautiful opportunity to grow even closer.
At Ultimate Intimacy, we are here to help you take that next step. Our app, products, and resources are created with you in mind—to help couples move past the awkwardness and step into the joy of deep, faith-filled connection.
You can feel comfortable again. You can enjoy intimacy again. And you can fall in love all over again.
Ultimate Intimacy
What if one app could completely change your marriage—emotionally, physically, and intimately?
With nearly 1 million downloads and an almost perfect 5-star rating, the Ultimate Intimacy App is not just another marriage tool—it’s the #1 resource couples everywhere are raving about. Why? Because it works.
Created with therapists and marriage experts, this app is helping couples reignite passion, deepen emotional connection, and bring back the spark in and out of the bedroom. And it’s done the same for thousands just like you.
Inside, you’ll find:
- Exciting sex & intimacy games
- Truth or Dare: Bedroom Edition
- 150+ tasteful sex positions with detailed instructions
- Spicy conversation starters & Would You Rather
- Intimate chat & custom intimacy calendar
- Love language quizzes, articles, product recommendations & so much more!
This isn’t just an app—it’s your personal intimacy coach, playful bedroom companion, and emotional reconnection tool all in one.
Don’t wait to rediscover each other. Download the Ultimate Intimacy App today—because your marriage deserves more than average.
Download for free today by clicking on the image or App Store buttons below!
Transform Your Intimacy With Our Christian Friendly Products!
We offer tons of great intimate products, card decks, games, lubricants, massage oil and so much more to spice up and enhance the intimacy in your relationship. We are a “Christian friendly” store and offer FREE shipping in the USA! Just click on any of the images below to go to our store.
