17 Feb

There are few podcasts or movie episodes that the more you watch or listen to, the better they get. However, that was the case for us with the Alex Boye podcast with did in episode 131 found HERE.

Since recording that episode, we have both listened to it several times, and each time we do, we gain more knowledge and wisdom of the things he shared in the podcast. In this article and follow up podcast, we want to share the valuable insight and things we took from the episode that can easily be implemented in your life and marriage and make you so much happier.

Here are our take a ways from the podcast episode:

The power of words is more powerful than we can imagine

In the podcast, Alex states that there is a village in Africa that if you are negative, they will throw you out of the village. They think that if you are negative, you are infectious and that infection can plague the whole village. That is how strongly they feel about WORDS.

Be careful the words you use to yourself and to others, they can make or break your life. That is why it is called spelling… we literally cast spells by the words that we use to others, to each other, and most importantly to ourselves.”

– Alex Boye

We need to be extremely careful about the words we use to ourselves, and also to others. If we are putting down ourselves and saying something like “I am so stupid….” “when you start to believe it, so will everyone else.”

This is why we believe social media and other platforms can be so harmful, and cause so much depression, especially among younger people. There is no filter and people can get on there and say the most vile things to others. That is why you need to be so careful with what you are saying to others, and also how you are letting what others say about you impact your life.

Because “words” are so powerful, we also need to be careful about what kind of music we are listening to or books we are reading. The reason why all of us love music so much is because it is so powerful and brings out the deepest feelings and emotions with in us all. If we are listening to negative music, how in the world can we be happy and positive? We are going to become what we say and take in.

We need to be positive in what we say to others, and what we say to ourselves.

Why are people that have so little, much more happy than we who have more?

We are one of the most depressed countries in the world while Africa is one of the happiest! How can that be? Even the poor here in the United States or western countries usually have food, cell phones, a roof over their heads and even a TV in most rooms! Yet we complain about all the things we don’t have instead of focusing on the things we do have.

Our son went to Africa the end of December and had one of the most life changing experiences of his life. He said the people were so happy! Most of the kids had no shoes, some had never even seen themselves in a mirror, yet to them, they had almost everything.

While there are many reasons to guess why they are happier, maybe they don’t know what they are missing.

Why we believe they are happier:

– They don’t have social media to compare themselves to anyone else. They literally don’t know what they are missing. They are just trying to survive and focus on family

– They aren’t comparing themselves to others

– They don’t speak negatively about themselves or each other. If they do, they could be thrown out of the village.

– Their happiness doesn’t come from going on a trip, or getting a certain job etc. Their happiness isn’t conditional or based upon certain things happening. They are happy because they choose to be happy.

We are born a 10 (which is perfect number) yet we change our number based upon our circumstances or how we feel about ourselves

In the podcast, Alex talks about how we are all perfect in God’s eyes and nothing we do, or circumstances in our lives can change that. If we loose our job, we are just a 10 that is temporarily jobless. We like how he approaches this. We all judge ourselves and give us a “value” based upon our circumstances in life. We also value ourselves based upon how we are comparing ourselves to others.

We need to stop judging ourselves based upon our status, mistakes we make, or how much money we have. We need to stop beating ourselves up. We become what we think. If we think we are a 10, we are a 10!

Our surroundings and the people we associate with can literally cause us to be healthy or unhealthy.

Alex shares his experience in the hospital and how he had a window in his room and could look out at the beautiful lake and fountain, see the birds and beautiful surroundings. The others in the hospital were looking at brick walls. He healed much quicker than everyone else in the hospital and attributes it to his surroundings.

We also believe that our surroundings and the things we put in our lives can have a significant impact on our health, and outlook towards life. We need to be very mindful about who we are associating with or what our surroundings are. 

We will go in the direction we are looking

In the podcast, Alex shares the experience of the bobsledder wrecking because she said she took her eye off the track. She commented to him that we always go the direction we are looking. This is very powerful and true. If we take our eye and focus off of our goals in marriage, or things we want to accomplish, how are we going to head in that direction.

Alex also talked about looking to the future and to the light. If we can look towards the future and try not focus so much on the present, this is how we can become happy.

This is why people that put up vision boards often accomplish what they put on them. They realize they are future goals and then every decision they make is to accomplish those goals. We need to be focusing on the future and realizing that the current circumstances shall pass.

We always go in the direction we are looking!

Happiness is created, not something we wait for

Each of us have to create our own happy in life. We can’t just sit back and wait for it to come to us, or base our happiness on all of our life circumstances. Happiness is often not defined by what we do, or how much money we make, but the relationships we have. If it was, the rich and famous people that seem to have everything we all aspire for would be happy. But they are not, many of them are some of the most unhappy people there are. That is why they resort to drugs, alcohol and many other addictions and often end up dying miserable or even committing suicide.

Another great point he makes is that “we get what we look for”. Most all of us want to find peace and happiness in life, but how can we do so when we are looking for drama as we scroll through our social media?

Many of us, for whatever reason are constantly looking at negative things and then wonder why we aren’t feeling good. We look at the bad news, drama, negative TikTok videos, and so on. Wherever we are going is what we are going to get AND we get what we are looking for!

The key takeaways from this podcast is if we want to avoid depression and be happy in our lives, we need to be very careful about how we are judging and speaking about ourselves (and others), what information we are consuming and putting in our lives, and the future we are looking for.

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