03 Feb

I think that it is pretty obvious that children that come from strong marriages, usually have a better chance of having their own strong marriage when they are adults. Kids learn from example. We all learn from example. There is also so many other benefits what having a strong marriage does for your children.

Your marriage has an impact on your kids.

www.familyeducation.com states “The foundation of your relationship with your spouse could have a big impact on your child. If they see the two of you getting along and supporting each other, they will mirror your behavior and will likely get along with friends and family. 

On the other hand, children are also great imitators of less than perfect behavior. If they see the two of you arguing constantly, calling each other names, putting each other down, or being physically abusive, you will probably see them repeating these negative behaviors. They will probably feel insecure, and this insecurity might be reflected in poor grades, bad behavior at school or home, or even depression. If the two of you are going through a rough period, work on your relationship! The entire family will benefit, not just the two of you.” Read the whole article HERE

Your Marriage Should Be Prioritized Over Your Kids.

simipsychologicalgroup.com states 3 reasons why you should prioritize your marriage over your kids. You can read the whole article HERE

They state that you will be better connected when you have support.

“When your marriage is your focus, that loneliness gets much less prominent because you can address things more with your partner. All of a sudden you are not alone in the craziness of parenting. More importantly a connected loving relationship fuels you. It fuels you to have more energy to give out into the world including your children.” (simipsychologicalgroup.com)

Focusing on your marriage brings personal growth.

“When you learn to grow within your marriage you are learning to self reflect and give more than you did before. This will help you grow in all parts of your life. You will also be able to have a greater sense of lightness in your romantic and personal life.” (simipsychologicalgroup.com)

Your partner will be there in the end. 

“For many of us we met our partner before we had kids. There was so much more room to focus on one another at that point in the relationship. Once you have kids however the focus gets rerouted to the kids. There is just so much to do all the time when you have kids!

But the reality is that you chose your partner to spend your life with before you had kids.” (simipsychologicalgroup.com) You will love the whole article and can find it HERE

It is important to stay with a spouse because you love them and want to make it work for the two of you, rather than just for the kids.

There are definitely times in life when it’s easier to do things for the sake of the kids — give up a career so you can be a stay at home mom, or sacrifice sleep in order to care for your kids needs, as well as so many other things.

But the simple fact is this is that any marriage that remains alive solely for the sake of the kids, is only delaying separation until the kids are out of the house.

Your marriage is a prototype for the marriage your children will have.

Here is an interesting fact:

A review of research during the 1980s reveals that marital discord is associated with problematic child functioning from infancy through adolescence. Various measures of marital dissatisfaction have been linked to child anxiety, aggression, internalizing and externalizing behavior problems, and insecure infant–parent attachment relationships. Overtly angry and hostile interactions may be the characteristics in a discordant marriage that most directly affect children, particularly when they involve issues surrounding childrearing and child behavior. Data from a longitudinal study of coparenting processes during the “terrible twos” indicate positive and negative features and suggest that coparenting incidents are not always clear-cut. (APA PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2016 APA, all rights reserved) Gable, S., Belsky, J., & Crnic, K. (1992). Marriage, parenting, and child development: Progress and prospects. Journal of Family Psychology, 5(3-4), 276–294. https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.5.3-4.276.

That research suggests that children whose parents love each other are much happier and more secure than those raised in a loveless home. Those children have been given a model of what happiness should look like, as well as how two adults should treat each other.

Showing your kids that you actually chose and want to be together will give them guidelines for what caring relationships look like and will help them have appropriate connections and boundaries when they get older.

“When your life becomes centered around your children, it’s easy to forget to spend time together. And even when you do spend time together, you might feel guilty about taking some alone time. But what if I told you that regular date nights and having time with your spouse helps your kids?
Feeling renewed as a couple after a date night can help make your marriage stronger and happier. And having a healthy relationship with your spouse can provide a strong sense of security for your children. Emotional safety is what helps them feel free to be themselves and to thrive.
Showing your kids that you actually chose and want to be together will give them guidelines for what caring relationships look like and will help them have appropriate connections and boundaries when they get older.” (https://fatherseve.com/)

You might like the 50+ ways to strengthen your marriage blog post found HERE

Printable Family Conversation Cards

Bring your family closer together with these cute heart conversation cards. All the questions are about love and how to love each other better.

You can strengthen your family relationship by communicating with each other more. Communication is everything!

You can download these cute conversation cards on the Ultimate Intimacy app (free download in the app store) or check out ultimateintimacy.com for more info.

If you want the Adult conversation cards, they are also included free on the app and contain conversation in the subjects of intimacy, romance, family, finance, spirituality and more!

Printables are found under the resources section, under printables.

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