When it comes to building a strong, lasting marriage, it’s easy to think that grand gestures or elaborate plans are the secret sauce. But the truth? It’s the simple, everyday things that often make the biggest difference.
Over the years, we’ve learned that a thriving marriage isn’t about perfection—it’s about consistently showing up in small, meaningful ways.
1. Good Communication
At its core, marriage is a partnership built on connection, and connection starts with communication. But communication isn’t just about talking; it’s about truly listening. It’s about asking your spouse how their day was—and actually caring about the answer. It’s checking in emotionally, being present, and creating a safe space for honest conversations.
Try this: Set aside 10 minutes every evening for uninterrupted talk time. No phones, no distractions—just genuine connection.
If you feel like your communication isn’t where you want it to be, you can check out the conversation starters in the Ultimate Intimacy App for FREE! Couples rave how easy it is to get into great conversations when they have great ideas presented to them about what to talk about.
If you feel like there are some conversations that are difficult to talk about, such as topics about sex, you should check out our new book called “Let’s Talk About Sex” 20 Things Christian Husbands And Wives Wish Their Spouse Knew (Or Would Do) But Don’t Know How To Tell Them.
2. Treating Each Other with Respect
Respect might sound basic, but it’s foundational. It shows up in the little things—how you speak to each other, how you handle disagreements, and how you support each other’s dreams. When respect is present, love feels safe.
Try this: Next time you disagree, focus on speaking kindly and avoiding hurtful words. Respect doesn’t mean you won’t argue—it means you’ll argue with love.
You many also enjoy this great blog article titled: Respect: The Foundation To A Successful And Happy Marriage.
3. Expressing Appreciation
It’s easy to get caught up in the routine of life and forget to express gratitude. But appreciation can transform the atmosphere of your home. It’s as simple as saying, “Thank you for making dinner,” or “I appreciate how hard you work for our family.”
Try this: Make it a habit to thank your spouse for something every day, no matter how small.
4. Knowing (and Speaking) Their Love Language
Dr. Gary Chapman’s five love languages—words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch—are a game-changer. Knowing how your spouse feels most loved allows you to meet their needs in a way that feels deeply personal.
Try this: Take the love languages quiz together and find small ways to show love in your spouse’s language daily.
If you don’t know your love language, or your spouses love language, jump on the Ultimate Intimacy App and take the Language of Love Quiz for free.
5. Small Acts of Kindness
A cup of coffee made just the way they like it. Taking over a chore they dislike. Leaving a sweet note on the bathroom mirror. These little acts of love can make your spouse feel seen, valued, and cherished.
Try this: Pick one small act of kindness to do for your spouse today.
6. Affection and Physical Touch
Never underestimate the power of holding hands, hugging, or simply sitting close. Physical touch fosters connection and intimacy. It doesn’t always have to lead to sex—sometimes it’s about being close and feeling bonded. But yes, sexual intimacy is also very important!
In a poll we did, we asked our audience if when their marriage is good, are they having more sex?
Try this: Give your spouse a genuine hug every day. The kind where you hold on just a few seconds longer.
7. Making Time for Fun
Life is serious enough—your marriage doesn’t always have to be. Whether it’s sharing a silly meme, dancing in the kitchen, or planning a spontaneous date night, having fun together keeps your relationship fresh and lighthearted.
Try this: Schedule a date night or do something playful together this week.
We preach this all the time, but have weekly date nights! That is where you have fun together, good communication, and how you feel in love. Plan some fun and exciting date nights together. If you need some help, check out our new app called UandI and the amazing date night challenges we have in the UandI App!
For more information, visit uandiapp.com and get started on the journey to a more connected, exciting marriage.
We can’t wait to hear how the U&I app helps you and your spouse create the marriage you’ve always dreamed of. Here’s to stronger bonds, more fun, and lots of love!
8. Supporting Each Other’s Dreams
When you cheer each other on, you build a strong foundation of support and partnership. Whether it’s a new hobby, career change, or personal goal, showing interest and offering encouragement goes a long way.
Try this: Ask your spouse about their dreams and how you can support them.
9. Saying ‘I Love You’—and Meaning It
Three little words, but they hold so much weight. Don’t let them become routine or lose their meaning. Say them with intention and let your spouse feel the love behind them.
Try this: Make eye contact when you say, “I love you,” and add a reason why.
The Bottom Line
Marriage isn’t about finding grand gestures to save or fix things—it’s about nurturing your relationship with simple, thoughtful actions every day. The little things, when done consistently, add up to a marriage filled with love, respect, and deep connection.
The next time you feel like your marriage needs a little boost, start small. Often, it’s not the mountains you climb together but the pebbles you step over every day that truly make your marriage beautiful.
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