18 Aug

Sexual intimacy is a fundamental aspect of a healthy and fulfilling marriage. However, discussing this sensitive topic can be challenging for many couples. Open communication is vital to building trust and understanding, fostering emotional connections, and improving physical intimacy in your relationship.

It is very difficult for many couples to talk openly about sexual intimacy for fear of rejection, what their spouse will think and the potential of it causing an argument. Because of these reasons, many couples avoid discussing the topic all together. However, it is vital for couples to talk about sexual intimacy and their “sexpectations” in the relationship.

You may also like the podcast episode we did titled: 138. Sexpectations In Marriage.. And Why You Need To Talk About Them Together!

In this blog article, we will explore 15 thought-provoking questions that can help you and your spouse begin a meaningful conversation about sexual intimacy, strengthening your bond and bringing you closer together.

What are your thoughts on our current level of sexual intimacy?

This question sets the foundation for an open and honest discussion about your current sexual relationship. It encourages both spouses to share their feelings, desires, and any concerns they may have.

How can we create a safe and judgment-free space to discuss our sexual needs openly?

Acknowledging the importance of feeling safe and supported when discussing intimate matters is crucial. Discuss ways to create an environment that promotes open dialogue without judgment or shame.

Are there any specific desires or fantasies you would like to explore together?

Expressing your desires and fantasies can lead to exciting new experiences in your relationship. Encourage each other to be open and understanding.

How can we prioritize intimacy in our busy lives?

Life’s demands can sometimes leave little time for intimacy. Discuss strategies to prioritize and make time for each other in the midst of daily responsibilities. You may need to schedule sex and put it on the calendar to make the time for it.

Here is The Case For Scheduling Sex.

Is there anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or hesitant about in our sexual intimacy?

Be sensitive to your spouse’s feelings and any hesitations they might have. Understanding their reservations can help you approach the conversation with empathy and care.

What are some emotional or relational factors that affect our sexual connection?

Explore how emotional intimacy and communication impact your sexual relationship. Identifying any issues can be the first step towards resolving them.

How can we be more attuned to each other’s sexual needs?

Understanding each other’s sexual needs is vital for a satisfying and fulfilling connection. Ask your spouse how you can better understand and meet their needs.

What are your thoughts on trying new things together in the bedroom?

Openness to experimentation can keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship. Discuss trying new activities or exploring different aspects of your sexuality together. For many couples, trying a vibrator or vibrating ring can be a game changer in their marriage.

Did you know over 80% of women cannot orgasm through intercourse alone?
Did you know that over 10% of women have never had an orgasm?

How can we improve our communication during intimate moments?

Effective communication during intimate moments is crucial. Share ideas and strategies to ensure both spouses feel comfortable expressing their desires and boundaries.

Is there anything from our past that might be affecting our sexual intimacy?

Past experiences can influence our attitudes towards sex. Encourage a supportive environment to discuss any past issues that may impact your current relationship.

How can we deal with differences in our sexual desires or libidos?

It’s common for partners to have varying levels of sexual desire. Talk about ways to bridge the gap and ensure both partners feel satisfied and respected.

What makes you feel loved and cherished in our sexual relationship?

Understanding what makes your partner feel loved and cherished in the bedroom can strengthen your emotional bond and enhance the overall experience.

How can we support each other through any sexual challenges or changes?

Life is full of changes, and so is our sexuality. Discuss ways to support each other during challenging times or when facing physical or emotional changes.

Are there any sexual boundaries or limits we should establish?

Respecting each other’s boundaries is essential. Discuss any limits or boundaries that you both feel comfortable setting to ensure a healthy and consensual sexual relationship.

What are your hopes and dreams for our sexual intimacy in the future?

End the conversation on a positive note by sharing your hopes and aspirations for your sexual relationship. This allows you both to envision a fulfilling and satisfying future together.


Sexual intimacy is a journey that requires open communication, trust, and a willingness to understand each other’s needs. By asking these thought-provoking questions, you and your spouse can begin a meaningful and transformative conversation about your sexual relationship. Remember to be patient, compassionate, and non-judgmental, as fostering a deep connection in the bedroom can lead to a stronger and more satisfying marriage overall.

Ultimate Intimacy

Check out the great conversation starters and other tools we have in the Ultimate Intimacy App to help with all aspects of your intimacy! Find out why over 650,000 people have downloaded the app and give it such a high rating! Best of all, it’s FREE to download so what are you waiting for?

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