The favorite part of last week’s podcast was issuing a 7-day sex challenge, but we decided to change it to the 7-day “make love to your spouse challenge” because it really is all about deepening that love between spouses.
We are excited to share some feedback that we got from a lot of our followers as well as our personal feedback.
There are a ton of benefits to making love more, not only physically but emotionally and health wise. Here are some of our poll answers:
The things Amy learned from the 7 day challenge
- More expressed feelings between us
- More conversations about Sexual intimacy and physical intimacy
- I noticed how much more Romantic Nick was during the day
- Much more physical touching during the day with anticipation of making love at night
- I got flowers, dinner made for us and things that aren’t normally done around the house (he was really trying to step it up)
- I noticed that I was trying harder to not get upset with the little things that could usually bug me because I knew that I needed to be in a good state of mind when night time came around.
- I tried to be more productive during the day so that my mind once again could be stress free and able to concentrate on “US time.”
The Things Nick learned from the 7 day Challenge:
- I thought the excitement over the challenge would die down after a couple days but it did not. The anticipation actually grew stronger.
- I Ioved how much more connected we were during those days. We were more intentional with each other.
- I really like that there is something fun to knowing that you’re going to be intimate later that night and having that excitement build through out the day.
- Making love to my spouse can never get boring. There are so many ways to spice it up and be creative.
- Emotional Intimacy completely impacts the sexual intimacy.
- You can still be spontaneous even if you know you are going to be sexual intimate that night.
What Transformed Couples (Garrett & Chelsea) have to say about the 7 day Challenge:
- We were so excited to take the challenge!
- We loved that it was laid out and pre-planned, it took the guesswork out of it, and ironically enough, knowing what was on the schedule for the date was actually exciting.
- We loved talking more about sexual and physical intimacy more and made a list of new things to try.
- We definitely grew closer and enjoyed the connection that it created
- We are big believers in intentional living, and that is what this challenge did, required complete intention and had lots of reward
- We learned new ideas and places for sexy time 🙂
You can follow the Zimmermans on instagram @transformed.couples. They specialize in blended families.
Answers from the polls taken on social media
- We came up with lists of new things to try because we were talking about physical and sexual intimacy a lot more in our marriage
- The challenge helps you discuss your physical sexual intimacy in your marriage.
- Knowing that you’re going to be intimate that day is almost like a form of foreplay. The build up is exciting.
- 90 percent of the couples who took the poll said that the challenge was POSITIVE for their marriage! Yay
- This was not all about having more sex. This was all about growing your connection deeper with emotional intimacy
- Sometimes we still have to give in to our our spouses and please them too because it’s all about selflessness in marriage
- 70 percent of the couple said they will continue the challenge on after the 7 days have ended! Wow!
So why would we want to try and challenge the make love to your spouse for 7 days straight?
Making love more frequently has a strong correlation to having a better quality of life!
They found that when people make love more often, they just have much happier lives, and much healthier lives, they have less issues in their relationship and life. The divorce rate among couples that have sex more frequently is significantly lower. There are so many benefits and things to having a sex life.
The benefit of having better self image.
People that have uh sex more frequently have less insecurity. They have a more positive outlook on themselves and on life. Nick says “Even in my life, like I’m not a depressed person at all, like I feel like I’m one of the happiest people in the world, when we’re more intimate, like my self confidence is through the roof. It’s just amazing the correlation between being intimate, having that bond, and having that self confidence and that better self image… and that also correlates with higher rates of happiness.”
Chronic stress may contribute to lower sex frequency. However sex can actually be effective stress management technique.
Better quality of sleep
Better sleep can help your immune system have a longer lifespan. You feel better, your are more rested, which makes you happier, and you have a lot more energy during the day.
We have found that to be true in our marriage. The last thing you probably want to do is make love when you have a bad head ache, but we have tried it and it actually works! Try it out!
Improved Immune system
Yep that is what the experts say and have proved! Look it up!
Sex burns calories so it is great exercise!
You can burn more than 200 calories with a good make love session… that can also help with blood pressure, even reduces heart disease or stroke
Emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy are directly connected.
If one person is craving more of the sexual intimacy and another person’s crazy craving the emotional intimacy and sometimes it’s the woman in the marriage and sometimes the man and vice versa… It is really important that a marriage get in sync with both forms of intimacy.
It is so important and it comes down to communication and talking about what your needs are for both of you.
It is important that if you take a challenge like this, the person that needs the emotional intimacy is getting that during the day so they will want the sexual intimacy at night and vice versa. Both people need to be fulfilled in their needs.
We’ve had a lot of people tell us that their spouse doesn’t like intimacy.. and then the second they changed their train of thought, whether working through a sex therapist or counselor, all of a sudden they go from not wanting any intimacy to wanting intimacy all the time. If you want to change your intimate life, it really is so much about just changing your thought process or your perspective on things as well. So many different life experiences, trials, past experiences can cause pain in sexual intimacy so it is important to get the help that you need.
It was interesting, when I asked why some people didn’t want to take the 7 day challenge.. a lot of them said, “my spouse won’t even consider it. My spouse doesn’t like sex. My spouse doesn’t like to try anything new.” That broke my heart. If you have that answer from your spouse, there is something deeper going on in your marriage if they wont even talk about it.
There are counselors out there who can help, there’s nothing wrong with getting a marriage counselor to help you work through things that are deeper because you are missing out on so much that sexual intimacy has to offer in your marriage. You are really missing out on the bonding and creating a closer relationship with your spouse.
Sexual intimacy builds trust.
We all know that sex requires incredible vulnerability, you literally bare it all to each other with sexual intimacy. That level intimacy shows why trust is so important. When the trust is strengthened, everything in the entire marriage just grows stronger. So to have that vulnerability and trust in your marriage when it comes to the sexual intimacy is super important.
Want more info on this? check out this post:
Haven’t download the Ultimate Intimacy app yet? It is free in the app store and has so many resources to strengthen your marriage! Click on the image to download app in the app stores or for more info.