11 Dec

Sexual intimacy is a crucial component of a healthy, fulfilling marriage. However, not all spouses feel the same level of desire for sexual connection, which can lead to feelings of frustration and rejection.

In this article, we’ll provide advice for spouses who may not be as interested in sexual intimacy as their partners. We’ll discuss the importance of sexual connection and understanding your spouse’s feelings when they’re denied this aspect of the relationship.

The Significance of Sexual Intimacy

Sexual intimacy in marriage serves multiple purposes, beyond the physical act itself:

  1. Emotional Connection: Sexual intimacy fosters emotional closeness, creating a strong bond between spouses.
  2. Communication: It is a unique way of communicating love and desire, without the need for words.
  3. Stress Relief: Sexual intimacy can reduce stress, release endorphins, and contribute to overall well-being.
  4. Relationship Satisfaction: Healthy sexual relationships often correlate with higher overall relationship satisfaction.

Check out our great podcast episode 123. For The Wives Who Just Aren’t Interested In Sexual Intimacy.

Understanding Your Spouse’s Feelings

When one spouse rejects sexual advances, the other may experience feelings of rejection, inadequacy, and emotional pain. It’s essential to acknowledge these emotions and work together to find a balance that satisfies both spouses.

Here’s some advice for spouses who may not be as interested in sexual intimacy:

  1. Open Communication: Talk to your spouse about your feelings honestly and without judgment. Share your concerns, fears, or any physical or emotional barriers that may be affecting your desire for sexual intimacy.
  2. Empathize and Validate: Understand that your spouse’s desire for sexual intimacy is not just about physical satisfaction but also an emotional need. Empathize with their feelings and validate their emotions.
  3. Compromise and Experiment: Find ways to compromise and explore different aspects of intimacy that both spouses may be comfortable with. Be open to trying new things that can enhance your connection.
  4. Seek Professional Help: If you’re facing challenges that are difficult to address on your own, consider seeking professional guidance. A qualified therapist can provide insights and strategies for improving your sexual relationship.
  5. Prioritize Emotional Connection: Focus on nurturing the emotional connection in your relationship. Strong emotional bonds can help both spouses feel more secure and satisfied, which may, in turn, enhance sexual intimacy.
  6. Self-Care and Self-Reflection: Take time to engage in self-care and self-reflection. Understand your own needs, desires, and any underlying issues that might be impacting your sexual intimacy.
  7. Set Realistic Expectations: Recognize that it’s normal for sexual desire to ebb and flow throughout a marriage. It’s not always about having the same level of desire as your spouse; it’s about finding a balance that works for both of you.


Sexual intimacy plays a vital role in most marriages, and it’s important to address the concerns and feelings of both spouses. While it’s okay for one spouse to have a lower desire for sexual intimacy, it’s equally crucial to understand and respect the needs of the other.

Through open communication, empathy, compromise, and seeking professional help if necessary, you can navigate the complexities of sexual intimacy in your marriage and work together to create a fulfilling and harmonious relationship. Remember that a happy marriage is built on understanding, connection, and mutual respect.

Ultimate Intimacy

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