Have you ever sat next to a lake or pond that is just as calm, peaceful and beautiful as can, be as if nothing had ever touched or disturbed the water or its peace?
Then.. of course you pick up a rock or pebble to skip or throw in the water and when you do, it creates hundreds (if not thousands) of ripples and has a huge impact the whole lake (not just part of it), and there is nothing you can do to stop the impact. The ripples just have to go through their natural process until they hit the shoreline which causes them to stop. This impact of the ripples takes the lake quite a bit of time to calm again as even just the littlest disturbance can cause a huge ripple effect.
You can listen to podcast episode 142. Are The Tiny Pebbles In Your Life Causing A Big Ripple Effect?
Another example is your out hiking and having a great time. But then you get a very tiny pebble or rock in your shoe. You don’t want to take off your hiking shoes as it is too much effort. At first it is a little bit uncomfortable or annoying, but you think “I will be ok” and you continue hiking trying not to think about it or let it impact you. Slowly it becomes more irritating and painful and you find yourself getting mad and frustrated and start complaining. This tiny pebble is now having a negative impact on many physical and emotional aspects. Your foot is hurting, you are complaining and no longer enjoying the hike. Finally, you can’t take it anymore and you have to stop, remove your shoe and get rid of it! What happens if you would have got rid of it early on in the hike?
Our marriages and relationships are like this. It is the little and small things that can cause problems in other areas of our relationship and life.
The other day Amy and I were out to lunch and I was expressing to her that I have never been happier in my life and expressing to her how much I loved her and appreciated her. I felt like everything was in a very good place.
During our discussion, I mentioned how amazing marriage is when things are so calm and good, but how even just the smallest impact (or pebble) in any aspect of life can have such a ripple affect (or cause discomfort) and it can also negatively impact so many other aspects of life and marriage, just like throwing a tiny pebble into a pond.
For example, if things are not in a good place financially, this can then causes arguments, which will then cause issues with the emotional intimacy, which will then cause issues with the physical intimacy which will then impact date night, and so on.
So many couples are probably one or two very tiny pebbles away from having a WONDERFUL relationship, but a little tiny pebble can cause a ripple effect impacting the whole entire marriage and negatively impacting so many other areas that normally are very healthy and good.
Trust me, we have been there and done that as many of you have heard our story.
So what can you do?
- Assess your marriage together and identify what pebbles you have that are causing the ripples in your marriage.
- Fix or eliminate those problems. If your issue is stress due to financial issues or debt, figure out a game plan to get out of debt. If your issue is sexual intimacy, discuss it together and fix the issue!
3) Make decisions together. Work together as a team.
4) Focus on the good things and let go of the little less important things in your life. Don’t allow the little pebble (or things) to disrupt your life.
Ultimate Intimacy
Another great resource that can help with every aspect of your relationship is the Ultimate Intimacy App. Find out why over 600,000 couples have downloaded the app and give it a 4.8/5 star rating.
