18 Mar

The desire to be right in marriage is a powerful force. We all crave validation, and the urge to assert ourselves can sometimes take precedence over the overall happiness and well-being of our marriages. We did a great podcast on this subject as well titled:

233. Do You Want To Be Right.. Or Do You Want To Be Happy? Plus Our Crazy Poll Results.

It’s human nature to want to be right. We all crave validation. However in relationships, striving to be right at all costs can lead to conflicts and strain in your marriage. 

We have all either been in, or have seen couples argue about the most small and ridiculous things. And instead of letting it go and moving on, the argument escalates and turns into something HUGE because one of the spouses has to be right.

In this episode, we share experiences of our own, and discuss why it is more important to choose to be happy, than to be right. If you find yourself in this type of behavior, then this episode is for you!

In this article, we’ll delve into the pitfalls of always striving to be right in an argument, exploring how it can lead to conflicts, emotional detachment, and eroded trust in a marriage.

The Urge to Be Right


The relentless pursuit of being right often stems from our ego, a need to assert dominance or superiority in a marriage. While winning an argument may offer a fleeting sense of triumph, it often comes at the expense of our spouse’s feelings. This erosion of empathy can, over time, lead to a breakdown in trust and intimacy.

Escalation of Conflict

Arguments fueled by the need to be right have a tendency to escalate quickly. What might have started as a simple disagreement can turn into a full-blown battle, leaving deep emotional wounds in its wake. The escalation not only prolongs the conflict but also makes it increasingly difficult to find common ground.

Emotional Distance

Persistent battles over who is right can lead to emotional detachment. The constant need to prove oneself right creates a barrier between spouses, hindering emotional connection and understanding. This emotional distance can have lasting effects on the overall health of the marriage.

Endless Arguments

The pursuit of being right can turn every disagreement into a battlefield, creating a cycle of endless arguments. This not only becomes exhausting but can also erode the trust and goodwill that are essential for a strong, thriving marriage. The emotional toll on both spouses can manifest as stress, anxiety, and resentment.

Why You Should Choose Happiness Over Being Right

Emotional Well-Being

Choosing happiness over being right contributes significantly to your emotional well-being. It allows you to prioritize your marriage’s overall health and harmony, fostering a positive environment for both spouses to thrive.

Strengthening Your Marriage

Opting for happiness strengthens the bond between spouses. It encourages collaboration, compromise, and understanding, creating a foundation for a resilient and enduring connection.

Avoid Resentment

Constantly striving to be right can breed resentment in a marriage. Choosing happiness instead promotes forgiveness, empathy, and a willingness to let go of the need for validation at every turn.

Effective Communication

Prioritizing happiness encourages effective communication. It opens the door to constructive dialogue, where both spouses feel heard and understood, fostering a sense of unity rather than division.

Here is a great article to learn The Best Communication Skills To Use In Your Relationship.

Picking Your Battles

Evaluate the Importance

Consider whether the matter at hand involves core values, ethics, or principles. If not, consider letting it go. Sometimes, the satisfaction of being right is not worth the strain it puts on the marriage.

Timing is Everything

Choose the right time to discuss matters. If emotions are running high, it might be beneficial to postpone the conversation until both spouses are calm and able to engage in a more constructive dialogue.

Focus on the Bigger Picture

Reflect on the long-term impact of the argument. Will it matter in a day, a week, a month, or a year? Focusing on the bigger picture can help you prioritize what truly matters in your marriage.


In the tug-of-war between being right and being happy, choosing happiness proves to be the key to building a strong, enduring marriage. By recognizing the pitfalls of the ego-driven pursuit of always being right and embracing effective communication and compromise, spouses can create an environment that fosters emotional well-being, strengthens their connection, and ensures the longevity of their love. After all, isn’t happiness the ultimate victory in the game of love?

Ultimate Intimacy

The "Ultimate" Newsletter
Subscribe to our newsletter for weekly marriage tips, printables, and updates on the app and products!
Sign up for FREE:
*No spam, we promise.