08 Jul

Sexual intimacy plays a pivotal role in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship. However, many couples find themselves facing obstacles that hinder their desire and ability to engage in regular sexual activities.

In this article, we will explore several common reasons why couples may experience a decline in their sexual frequency and provide insights into how to address these challenges.

Low self-esteem

Low self-esteem can significantly impact an individual’s confidence and perception of their own desirability. When one or both partners struggle with self-esteem issues, they may feel insecure or unworthy of engaging in sexual activities.

These negative self-perceptions can dampen the desire for intimacy, creating a barrier between partners. Open communication, reassurance, and building self-confidence through personal growth can help address this issue.


Stress is one of the most prevalent factors contributing to a decrease in sexual activity among couples. The pressures of work, finances, family responsibilities, and other external factors can leave individuals feeling mentally and physically exhausted.

As a result, the energy and desire for sexual intimacy may wane. Couples can tackle stress by prioritizing self-care, creating a supportive environment, and finding ways to relax and unwind together.


Experiencing rejection, whether related to sex or other aspects of the relationship, can be profoundly discouraging. Repeated rejection can lead to a decrease in sexual advances, as individuals fear further emotional or physical rejection.

To address this issue, partners must foster an open and understanding atmosphere where they can openly discuss their desires, boundaries, and fears, thus rebuilding trust and confidence.


Resentment stemming from unresolved conflicts, unmet needs, or perceived imbalances in the relationship can cast a shadow over the couple’s sexual intimacy.

When negative emotions and unresolved issues linger, it becomes challenging to connect intimately. Couples should prioritize effective communication, empathy, and conflict resolution techniques to address underlying resentments and restore emotional harmony.

Lack of Emotional Intimacy

Sexual intimacy thrives on emotional connection and intimacy. When couples neglect nurturing emotional bonds, the desire for physical intimacy can diminish. Busy schedules and external distractions can lead to a lack of quality time spent together, resulting in emotional distance. Prioritizing regular date nights, open communication, and engaging in activities that foster emotional closeness can reignite the flame of desire.


Modern life is fast-paced, often leaving couples exhausted at the end of the day. Being physically and mentally tired can take a toll on one’s sexual desire and energy levels.

It is essential for couples to make time for rest and relaxation, establish healthy sleep habits, and communicate their needs for downtime to ensure they have the energy for intimate moments.


Routine and predictability can contribute to sexual boredom within a relationship. Over time, couples may find themselves in a sexual rut, lacking excitement and novelty. Spicing up the relationship through exploration, trying new activities, and open communication about fantasies and desires can inject freshness and rekindle the passion.

If you feel bored in the bedroom, then you have to check out the Ultimate Intimacy App! The app that will transform your marriage! It has non graphic sex positions (iPhone only), bedroom games, techniques, how to resources and so much more! Find out why over 600,000 people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings! Download for free today.

Lack of hygiene

Personal hygiene is a fundamental aspect of sexual intimacy. Poor hygiene habits can make one’s partner feel uncomfortable or unattracted, leading to a decline in sexual activity. It is crucial for individuals to maintain good personal hygiene and address any concerns or discomfort with empathy and open communication.


Using sex or lack thereof as a means of punishment or control can be highly detrimental to a relationship. When sex becomes a weapon or bargaining chip, it erodes trust and creates a toxic dynamic. Healthy relationships require open dialogue, respect, and a willingness to address and resolve conflicts in a constructive manner.

Health Issues

Health challenges, both physical and mental, can significantly impact a couple’s sexual intimacy. Chronic illnesses, pain, hormonal imbalances, and medication side effects can diminish sexual desire or make engaging in sexual activities uncomfortable. It is crucial for couples to communicate openly about their health concerns, seek professional medical advice, and explore alternative ways to maintain intimacy and connection.


As couples age, changes in hormone levels, physical stamina, and overall health can influence sexual desire and function. Menopause in women and andropause in men can lead to fluctuations in libido and sexual performance.

It is important for couples to have honest conversations about the changes they are experiencing, seek medical guidance if needed, and explore different ways to maintain intimacy and pleasure that align with their current stage of life.

Sexual intimacy is a dynamic and complex aspect of a romantic relationship. Various factors can contribute to a decline in sexual frequency and desire.

You may also like this great podcast 138. Sexpectations In Marriage.. And Why You Need To Talk About Them Together!


One of the most common reasons couples are having much less sexual intimacy is the distractions in life… mainly technology. If you have read some of our other articles or listened to our podcasts you may remember some of the statistics that were shared, especially with Nate Kemp and regards to his new book about technology and social media.

The majority of respondents indicated that they would rather give up sex than their phone. Many of the respondents admitted to checking their phone during sex!

Technology is a distraction and plague that is destroying marriages and relationships like nothing else. This is a distraction that you must control within your relationship, or it will control you.


By fostering open communication, empathy, and a commitment to understanding and addressing these obstacles, couples can work together to revitalize their sexual connection and strengthen their overall bond. Remember, seeking professional guidance from therapists or healthcare providers can offer valuable support and guidance throughout this journey.

Ultimate Intimacy

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