The realization that marriage has distinct stages dawned on me during our 18th year together. Intrigued by the differences each year brought, I pondered the factors distinguishing enduring marriages from those faltering before the 7-year mark.
Rumors suggested that surpassing 7 or 8 years increased the likelihood of a successful union, prompting reflection on our own challenges during that period, and the subsequent tougher 3-4 years.
Determined to find passion in every stage of marriage, particularly during hardships, our 19-year journey pinpointed the toughest years as 7-12. By the 5th year, parenting and financial strains took center stage, bidding farewell to the honeymoon phase. Coping with the end of the “newlywed stage” proved challenging, especially for a hopeless romantic like myself, unsure of sustaining the magic.
It is important to note that everyones relationship is going to look different, but here is what we found, so let’s explore these stages and unveil the potential for happiness in each – a journey that demands effort but promises fulfillment.
Stage ONE: The Excitement/Passion Stage Lasting up to two years, this thrilling phase resembles an extended honeymoon, extending for us due to a whirlwind romance. Ground rules for communication, chores, and finances become vital as the initial excitement evolves into a deeper, enduring love.
Tip for achieving Ultimate Intimacy: Engage in extensive conversations, set ground rules, and continue small gestures to maintain the connection forged in the early days.
Stage TWO: The Reality Check Stage As the novelty wears off, pet peeves emerge, necessitating enhanced communication. Focusing on positive aspects, practicing active listening, and regular expressions of love help weather this crucial stage.
Tip for achieving Ultimate Intimacy: Frequent expressions of love, active communication, and maintaining physical intimacy are key to preserving passion.
Stage THREE: The Rebellion Stage Divergent goals and changing interests mark this phase, demanding teamwork. Supporting each other and prioritizing the relationship amid power struggles are crucial to overcoming frustrations.
Tip for achieving Ultimate Intimacy: Maintaining physical intimacy and mutual support during disagreements are essential for keeping the passion alive.
Stage FOUR: The Cooperation Stage Life becomes hectic with careers and potentially children. Despite the chaos, keeping the flame alive is imperative. Regular date nights and prioritizing the relationship ensure that the partnership remains vibrant.
Tip for achieving Ultimate Intimacy: Schedule regular quality time and prioritize daily gestures to ensure the marriage remains a priority.
Stage FIVE: The Reunion Stage Having weathered challenges, this stage calls for celebration. With grown children and stable careers, it’s time to invest in each other. Exploring new adventures and maintaining open communication are key to keeping the flame alive.
Tip for achieving Ultimate Intimacy: Plan exciting activities together, maintain communication, and continue exploring new facets of your relationship.
Stage SIX: The Explosion Stage Trials can hit at any time, challenging the marriage. Turning adversity into an opportunity to grow closer is crucial. Shared prayers, quality time, and maintaining physical intimacy help weather major trials.
Tip for achieving Ultimate Intimacy: Rely on faith, spend quality time together, and prioritize physical intimacy to navigate challenges and stay connected.
Stage SEVEN: The Completion Stage Celebrating the triumphs over life’s trials, this stage reflects acceptance and enduring love. Creating new memories, showing appreciation, and continuing to explore new experiences are vital for a fulfilling and happy marriage.
Tip for achieving Ultimate Intimacy: Relish past memories, express gratitude, and keep the passion alive through new experiences and gestures of love.
For additional insights on communication, rekindling the spark, and navigating challenging times, visit ultimateintimacy.com to download a free app designed to strengthen marriages.
Ultimate Intimacy – Amy
