About a year or so ago we posted an article on the Ultimate Intimacy App about Tantric sex and explaining what it was and we got an email back from someone stating they couldn’t believe we would have an article on there about Tantric Sex! They also stated that it is completely against what Christians believe, and how in the world could we do that? They informed us they wouldn’t be using the app anymore because we had that article on it. We were absolutely shocked and read through the article several times again, and couldn’t understand what was so bad about the article… and things to make sex more enjoyable. We removed the article from the Ultimate Intimacy App as we felt like maybe we needed to do a bit more research on the subject, but in the end still came back to the same questions. What is so bad about this type of sexual intimacy? Are the things stated in tantric sex good or bad for your marriage? Do they bring you closer together or push you apart as a couple?
Now of course as with anything beautiful and good, there are always ways it can be distorted and turned around and made bad and cause harm, or used as evil. You see good and evil all the time in many of the things we do, say and believe. Having said that, we believe sex is a good and beautiful thing between a couple that draws them closer together physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Sex is from God and is therefore is good when practiced the right way. But if sex is used the wrong way, it can become an addiction, break up marriages and absolutely destroy peoples live’s. The worlds view on sex can often fall under this category. They make us believe that we should desire to have sex before we are married, with many people, watch movies, shows and media that promote pornography or worse and I could go on and on. But let’s get back to what Tantric Sex is and determine if it is something that brings a couple closer together or should be shunned.
What is Tantric Sex?
Tantra is an ancient Indian practice that dates back more than 5,000 years. In Sanskrit, the word tantra means woven together. People who practice Buddhist and Hindu meditation may also practice tantric sex as a way to “weave” the physical with the spiritual.
Definition: Tantric sex is a slow and meditated form of sex where the end goal in not to orgasm, but to enjoy the sexual experience using the the senses. It is also considered to be a spiritual and mental experience with your partner. Intercourse doesn’t even have to happen with tantric sex. It is all about connection. In fact, the goal is to hold off orgasm as long as possible.
Common misconceptions are that tantric sex is wild and crazy and only focuses on the sexual act. Nothing could be further from the truth from what we have found in our research, and we advice you to do your own. In fact, this form of sex can be much more enjoyable and bring you closer together as a couple as you will understand why after reading this article.
Tantric sex focuses on using your 5 senses and using the scenes to connect more with your spouse.
Here is how people can use their 5 senses in their sexual intimacy:
Sight: Sight is the most powerful sense so its important to look good and have good surroundings. Most men and many women are visual and experience sexual arousal visually. Things that could really help are wearing lingerie, have your room clean or decorated, have some fresh flowers, or have a candle lit so its romantic and sets the mood, but you can still see each other.
Smell: Use some oils, scented candle or perfume or cologne. Smell can be a great way to heighten the sexual responses.
Sound: Pick some soft music to play in the background, or talk softly and intimately to your spouse.
Taste: Try melted chocolate, whip cream, fresh fruit or something you enjoy and apply them to your body parts and lick them off. There are also some great edible lubricants HERE.
Touch: Massage, and gently touch their hands, neck, feet and more. Give your spouse a sensual back massage, or rub their thighs. Let your hands explore each others bodies.
Check out the most amazing massage oil HERE
Getting to know you and your spouses body
Tantric sex is about honoring your body and your partners body and helping awake you and your spouses sexual energy, wants and desires. They key to Tantric Sex is taking your time and focusing on the experience, not orgasm. The longer you take to get to orgasm, the more enjoyable it will be for both you and your spouse. People also experience much stronger orgasms the longer they can wait.
How to prepare for Tantric Sex?
Set aside the time: Tantric sex is about moving SLOWLY and focusing on the experience, NOT orgasm. In some cases, sex can last an hour or more. While there is no ideal time it should take and everyones experience and style will be different, move slowly and take your time to enjoy each other.
Prepare the mind: Sex of any kind is very hard to enjoy if you are not in the right mindframe. This is harder for women than for men. If someone is stressed or has other things on their mind, it can be hard to stay in the moment for this long. Doing things to prepare your mind such as meditation, stretching or allowing the time to get in the moment will help you clear your mindset and stresses.
Prepare a good place: Environment is a huge key in tantric sex. You may want to dim the lights, light a candle, or other things to make the mood. Do something different so its not just having the same sex. Make your place a special place. You may even want to find another place other than the bed such as the floor.
– Normally sexual activity starts with foreplay, then intercourse, and finally orgasm. Tantric sex is about experimenting so throw any script out the window and focus on exploring each others bodies and connecting in various ways.
- Make eye contact and look at each other: This may seem weird for many couples but this will help deepen the connection and heighten the intimacy.
- Take things slow: Enjoy exploring each other and find out what feels good and take your time getting to experience each other.
- Breathing is also a huge part of tantric sex: This can help a couple connect better and also can help prolong ejaculation in males. There are many different methods but inhaling deeply and slowly, and then exhaling and emptying your lungs and doing this and finding an rhythm. The goal is to breath deep enough to start to feel a sensation in your sex organs.
Also, avoid any position that makes you orgasm easily, remember to the slower you make it the more intense it will be at the end. Take your time and dont be in a hurry. Enjoy each other thoroughly and intimately.
A great position to implement these tips is the “CATHER IN THE PIE” from Christian Friendly Sex Positions (or similar position where your partner sits on the floor crossed legged) and also available on the Ultimate Intimacy App for iPhone. Facing your spouse, climb on top and put your legs around their body. But dont have intercourse. This is a great positions to explore your 5 senses 🙂
- Site: Stare into each others eyes and look at each others bodies (visual).
- Touch: You have full access to touch each other all over your bodies.
- Taste: Put on a good lip balm or something on each others necks or chest.
- Sound: This position makes it easy to talk to each other and share your most intimate desires.
- Smell: You can smell your spouses breath, neck, hair. Also try a scented candle.
Getting Into the Cather In The Pie Sex Position
- The husband kneels with his legs together on a pillow that has been folded in half and then sits back on the backs of his feet.
- His wife straddles his pelvis facing him and then bends her knees so that her feet are resting near his knees and her knees are near his bottom.
- He wraps his arms around her waist and she wraps her arms around his neck.
How it’s done
The husband penetrates his wife, and they take turns making a rocking motion with their pelvises to make love to each other.
This is a great position! Give it a try.
Also check out the Ultimate Intimacy Sexual Intimacy Marriage Course that focuses on communication and sexual intimacy.
Also listen to podcast episode 65 “Why Does This One Sex Word Scare Christians”
When we designed the Ultimate Intimacy App, we designed the games to accomplish many of the same things this article discusses. The Ultimate Intimacy App games are a great way to experience this kind of sexually intimacy as the games are designed to keep the foreplay and sexual intimacy going as long as possible as you are going back and forth taking turns and doing actions on each other. Check out the Ultimate Intimacy App! Its FREE to download and AMAZINGLY fun. There is a reason we have over 350,000 downloads and a 4.8/5 star rating on the App Store.
We did not cover the history of Tantric Sex in this article, but regardless of where it came from and what this type of sex is called, look at the benefits of this type of sexual intimacy and determine if it will bring you closer together as a couple and make sexual intimacy much more enjoyable. Many of us, in regards to our sexual intimacy, make it last as short as possible as there is one goal to accomplish, but tantric sex focuses on so much more including touch, taste, smell, sound and sight. All of these things have huge impacts on our sexual experience so how could this type of sex not benefit your sexual intimacy and relationship? We will let you decide if its right for you.
There are other aspects of Tantric Sex we did not cover in this article such as using different breathing techniques and your heart, but do your own research and decide if this type of sexual intimacy is right for you and your relationship.
If you dont like the term “Tantric Sex”, call it something else! But applying some of these principals and techniques into your sex life may help you draw you closer together as a couple.