13 Dec

When couples get married, their priorities and goals in life are usually aligned. During the dating and early marriage stages, discussions about where to live, the number of children to have, career aspirations, and life goals often take center stage.

However, life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and things don’t always go as planned. It’s common for our priorities and goals to change over time, and these shifts can impact our relationships. In this article, we’ll explore the significance of aligning priorities as a couple, share an illustrative example, and discuss how to find balance and unity in your marriage.

Check out this podcast episode 201. When Your Priorities, Values, And Goals Are Not Aligned As A Couple.

When a couples priorities, values and goals are not aligned in marriage, it can throw everything off and cause a lot of disconnect. And let’s get real.. there are a lot of couples that deal with this in their relationship.¬†

These things could include:

  • Different financial goals. Maybe one spouse is a saver while the other is a spender.
  • Different religious beliefs and expectations.
  • Health and lifestyle.
  • Careers and ambitions.
  • Political beliefs.
  • Friends and family (relationships).

In this podcast episode we will give you the tools to work through these things together  and find a better balance in your relationship.

The Ever-Changing Landscape of Priorities

Life is dynamic, and our priorities can shift in response to various circumstances. Let’s consider the example of a Christian couple whose initial priorities might have looked like this:

  1. God
  2. Marriage (spouse)
  3. Kids
  4. Work
  5. Everything else (hobbies, activities, service, etc.)

Now, imagine if the husband gets a new high-stress job and, based on the demands of the job, the couple’s priorities change to:

  1. Work
  2. Kids
  3. His hobbies and other interests
  4. Marriage
  5. God

As priorities evolve, couples may find themselves struggling to maintain harmony. When one partner’s priorities differ significantly from the other’s, it can create chaos within the relationship.

These changes have the potential to impact your marriage in profound ways. Therefore, it’s essential to regularly assess and, if necessary, adjust your priorities to maintain a healthy and balanced marriage.

The Direction of Focus

In a podcast episode we did with world renowned singer and songwriter Alex Boye, he emphasized the idea that we move in the direction of our focus. If our priorities shift towards work, that’s where our energy and attention will be directed. It’s crucial to be mindful of what we prioritize in our lives, as it shapes the path we follow. To sustain a healthy and thriving marriage, we must carefully consider where our focus lies.

Listen to this podcast episode 131. Alex Boye (World Renowned Singer) Shares His Amazing Experience And How This One Thing Can Change Your Life.

Finding Balance

Before you can create and maintain balance in your marriage, it’s crucial to identify your shared priorities as a couple. Here are some steps to help you find equilibrium in your marriage:

  1. Discuss Your Priorities: Open communication is key. Sit down with your spouse and have an honest conversation about your priorities. This can help ensure you’re on the same page and can make adjustments if needed.
  2. Tech Detox: In today’s digital age, it’s easy to get lost in technology, which can disrupt your work-life balance. Consider cutting down on screen time and using that time to reconnect with your spouse.
  3. Plan Together: Collaboratively create a plan to balance your shared priorities. Share your ideas, and let your spouse contribute their thoughts and concerns. Finding balance is a joint effort.

Unity in Marriage

Abraham Lincoln’s words, “A house divided against itself cannot stand,” also hold true in marriage. If it’s essential for a nation to be united, it’s even more crucial for a marriage. Husbands and wives each bring their unique qualities, personalities, talents, skills, and weaknesses into the marriage.

These differences, when embraced, can lead to something extraordinary. Finding unity in your marriage, despite your disparities, is a transformative experience.

Marriage transforms “me” into “us.” While disagreements and differing perspectives are natural, the ultimate goal should be unity. When two distinct individuals can unite and share a common purpose and goals, they can find balance and harmony in their marriage. This unity provides the solid foundation needed to navigate the ever-changing landscape of life’s priorities.


In any marriage, understanding and aligning your priorities as a couple are vital to maintaining a healthy, balanced, and loving relationship. Life is unpredictable, and your priorities may change over time, but by actively discussing, adjusting, and finding unity with your spouse, you can successfully navigate these shifts. Remember that a strong, united marriage can withstand any challenges that come your way, making your journey together all the more fulfilling.

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