You can also check out our podcast episode “Rediscovering Sexual Intimacy After Kids And How To Prioritize And Make Time For It”
Becoming a parent is a wonderful experience, but it can also take a toll on your relationship, especially when it comes to your sex life. When you have children, it can be challenging to find the time and energy to be intimate with your spouse. When the relationship as a couple is put on the side, it can cause a lot of contention and disconnect in the relationship. It is crucial that you prioritize your sexual relationship to maintain a healthy and fulfilling marriage.
We often say “you make time for what is most important to you.” So, if you are marriage is the most important thing, you will figure out a way to make time for it. YOU NEED TO PRIORITIZE YOUR MARRIAGE OVER EVERYTHING ELSE. This doesn’t mean you have to spend a ton of time. In fact, it may only take a few minutes each day to fill your marriage glass to the top. Prioritizing your marriage doesn’t have anything to do with how much time you spend with your kids vs spending with your spouse. It is whatever amount of time is needed to fill your glass “full” in your marriage and that will be different for every couple.
For us, we spend WAY more time with our kids than we do in quality time together, but we know we can fill our marriage cup to the top with about an hour a night of good quality time and intimacy, so we talk, make love and watch a show to fill our marriage cup and that is sufficient for us.
If you don’t have a healthy and happy marriage (and your kids see that you don’t) how can that be helpful in raising your kids? You want your kids to see what a happy and healthy marriage looks like so they can have one when they get older and get married. So if you want to rediscover your sexual intimacy in your relationship and know how you can prioritize it, then this article is a must read. Here are the things you need to do:
Prioritize sexual and emotional intimacy
It is essential to make intimacy a priority in your relationship, even when you are busy with children. Set aside time for intimacy, and make it a non-negotiable part of your routine. It could be as simple as cuddling or holding hands, but it is important to show affection and intimacy in your relationship regularly. Sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy go hand in hand. It is extremely hard to have one without the other.
116. Is This Toxic Emotional And Sexual Intimacy Game Being Played In Your Marriage?
Schedule it
One of the easiest ways to make time for sexual intimacy is to schedule it into your routine. Set aside a specific time each week or month for intimacy, and make it a non-negotiable part of your schedule. It could be a date night, a weekend away, or a few hours of alone time at home.
Make use of nap or times when they are at school etc
When you have young children, nap times can be a precious opportunity for some alone time with your Spouse. Use this time to connect intimately, even if it’s just for a short time. You can also use this time to relax and unwind together, which can be a great way to relieve stress and build intimacy. If you have to, work around the kids schedules to find time.
Get creative
Finding time for intimacy doesn’t always have to involve scheduling or planning. Get creative and find new ways to be intimate together. This could mean having a quickie in the morning or finding ways to show affection throughout the day. You could have sex in the car, in the shower or other places. If your marriage is a priority, you will find creative ways to make it happen.
Communicate with your spouse about it
Communication is the key to a healthy relationship, and it is especially crucial when it comes to your sex life. Be open and honest with your partner about your needs and desires. Talk about what you like and don’t like, and what you would like to try. Having open communication will help you both understand each other’s needs and desires, and help you work together to rediscover your sexual intimacy. How can you have a good sex life if you don’t talk about it?
Plan a date night
One of the biggest challenges for parents is finding time for themselves. Plan a regular date night with your partner where you can spend time together and reconnect romantically. It could be a simple dinner or a night out, but make sure it is an opportunity to focus on each other.
Check out this great blog article How “Date Night” Changed Our Marriage
Enlist help
Don’t be afraid to enlist the help of family or friends to watch your kids while you have some alone time together. If you have family members nearby, ask if they can watch your children for a few hours. If not, consider hiring a babysitter or swapping childcare with another family. Having someone else watch your children can give you the time you need to focus on your relationship.
Adjust your expectations
When you have children, it’s important to adjust your expectations when it comes to sexual intimacy. It may not be possible to have the same frequency or intensity of intimacy as you did before children, but it doesn’t have to be. Find the time to give the balance you need in the relationship.
With a little bit of effort, you can transform your marriage and find “Ultimate Intimacy” in your relationship. Don’t make excuses, just commit to do it and see your marriage thrive!
Ultimate Intimacy
Want to have the most amazing sexual intimacy you have ever had with your spouse! Check out the “Ultimate Intimacy” app to transform your marriage! It’s FREE to download and will change your life!
