03 Sep

You may also enjoy our podcast episode we did on this topic titled: 187. What To Do When The Physical Attraction Is Lacking In Your Marriage.

Maintaining physical attraction and a deep emotional connection in marriage is a complex and evolving journey that requires effort from both spouses. While it’s natural for physical appearances to change over time, the foundation of attraction should extend beyond the superficial.

In this blog post, we’ll delve into the dynamics of physical attraction, the role of emotional intimacy, and practical steps to foster a healthy and enduring bond with your spouse.

Physical Attraction and Emotional Intimacy

Physical attraction is often the starting point of many relationships. However, over time, the importance of emotional intimacy grows, and it becomes intertwined with physical attraction. The strength of a couple’s emotional bond can significantly influence how they perceive each other’s physical appearances.

Spouses who nurture their emotional connection tend to find each other more attractive, regardless of external changes. So if you find yourself wondering why the physical attraction isn’t there, it maybe tied to the lack of emotional intimacy in the relationship.

The Impact of Self-Love and Confidence

A healthy sense of self-love and confidence is fundamental to maintaining attraction within a marriage. Loving yourself enables you to love your spouse more fully and create an environment of mutual respect. Self-care, including proper hygiene, exercise, and grooming, is a way of demonstrating respect for yourself and your spouse. Striving for self-improvement while embracing your uniqueness can lead to a more attractive and confident version of yourself.

The Power of Positivity

Positivity is a powerful driver of attraction. Laughter, playfulness, and a cheerful disposition contribute to a vibrant and magnetic presence. Couples that maintain a positive atmosphere and focus on each other’s strengths experience deeper emotional connections and enhanced physical attraction. The energy you bring into your relationship can either boost or dampen attraction.

Compliments and Appreciation

Expressing genuine compliments and appreciation for your spouse’s efforts can work wonders in maintaining attraction. Verbal affirmation reinforces your spouse’s value and attractiveness in your eyes. Such affirmations encourage your spouse to continue investing in their appearance and actions, fostering an ongoing cycle of mutual admiration.

Balancing Physical and Emotional Investment

While it’s crucial to prioritize emotional intimacy, couples should not neglect the importance of taking care of their physical appearance for each other. Continuously striving to look your best for your spouse, especially during special occasions and date nights, demonstrates your ongoing commitment to each other’s attraction. Balancing emotional depth with physical effort cultivates a well-rounded and fulfilling relationship.

If you find yourself no longer attracted to your spouse, you need to self evaluate:

  • Are you looking at porn or other things that cause an unrealistic expectation?
  • Are you comparing your spouse to others?
  • Are you emotionally disconnected from your spouse?

It may not be an issue with your spouse, but maybe caused by things “you” are doing (or not doing).


Physical attraction in marriage is a multi-faceted concept that evolves as couples navigate the complexities of life together. While appearances may change, a strong emotional connection acts as a cornerstone of enduring attraction.

Prioritizing self-love, positivity, and mutual appreciation are essential practices for nurturing both emotional intimacy and physical attraction. By embracing the beauty of each other’s hearts and fostering an environment of mutual respect, couples can enjoy a lasting and fulfilling relationship that only deepens with time.

Ultimate Intimacy

The "Ultimate" Newsletter
Subscribe to our newsletter for weekly marriage tips, printables, and updates on the app and products!
Sign up for FREE:
*No spam, we promise.