18 Nov

Have you ever found yourself echoing these thoughts?

  • “I feel like sex is such a chore.”
  • “I hate when my spouse touches me.”
  • “I feel broken and don’t want to have sex.”

For many women, these feelings are not uncommon, and there can be a multitude of reasons behind a lack of interest in sexual intimacy, including:

  1. Depression or Anxiety
  2. Past Trauma
  3. Pain or Discomfort
  4. Trust Issues or Unresolved Conflict
  5. Lack of Orgasm
  6. Simply Not Wanting Sex

While we acknowledge that there are often valid, serious reasons behind a woman’s reluctance to engage in sexual intimacy, this article is dedicated to women who might not have a specific issue but still don’t enjoy sex. There are steps you can take to start enjoying sexual intimacy again or for the first time.

You may also enjoy our podcast titled: For The Wives Who Just Aren’t Interested In Sexual Intimacy.

Talk About It as a Couple

Before any change can happen, you and your spouse need to have an open conversation about your feelings regarding sexual intimacy. Work together to understand the underlying causes and seek solutions as a united front.

We get it, sometimes talking about sex can be extremely difficult. Let us help you out in our blog post titled: Why You Need To Talk About Sexpectations in Marriageā€¦

You can also try out the conversations starters in the Ultimate Intimacy App to prompt great conversations about sex and other topics!

Change Your Mindset and Attitude

Your thoughts shape your reality, including your attitude towards sex. If you constantly tell yourself how much you dislike sex, it’s bound to be viewed negatively. Start changing your perception by looking at sex as a way to connect with your spouse and express your love for them. It might not happen overnight, but your attitude can evolve over time.

Discover Your Turn-Ons

Explore moments in your marriage when you felt more in tune with your own sexuality. Identify what turns you on. If you’re uncertain, seek out articles on the Ultimate Intimacy App that can help you discover new ways to enjoy intimacy and connect with your body. This exploration should be a shared journey with your spouse.

Consider Using a Vibrator or Sex Toy

For many women, achieving orgasm can be elusive. Some women have never been properly educated about their own bodies and how to attain sexual pleasure. Learning about your body and experimenting with different sensations, possibly with the help of a vibrator or sex toy, can be a game-changer.

If you are a woman that has a hard time having an orgasms.. or have never had one, a vibrator can be a complete game changer in your relationship. Get 10% off and free shipping in the USA when entering UIAPP at checkout. Just click on the picture below to learn more. Oh.. and yes, it comes in discreet packaging.

Make the Decision to Be Sexual

Similar to any skill in life, practice makes perfect. The more you engage in sexual intimacy, the better you become at it. Research has shown that sexual activity leads to higher levels of testosterone and oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” in both men and women. The more you have good sex with the person you love, the more you will desire it.

Understand Your Sexual Response Style

Most men experience spontaneous sexual desire, but this is less common in women. Understanding your sexual response style is crucial. For many women, desire only arises after they become physically aroused. Learn how your body and mind respond to sexual stimuli.

Prioritize Foreplay

Foreplay is a crucial aspect of sexual intimacy that should not be overlooked. Spend time on foreplay to help you get in the mood and enjoy the journey. The purpose of foreplay is to prepare you for the main event, and it can make a significant difference in your overall experience.

Remember, just like Amy, many women have transformed from wanting nothing to do with sex to becoming the high-desire partner in the relationship by changing their mindset and following the steps we’ve suggested. With the desire and effort, you can move from “hate” to “great” sexual intimacy, creating a more fulfilling and enjoyable connection with your spouse.

Ultimate Intimacy


Hundreds of thousands of couples have transformed their marriages and intimacy with the Ultimate Intimacy App! Find out what it can do for you by downloading it for free in both google play and the App Store. Just click on the picture below.

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