20 Nov

Emotional intimacy is the cornerstone of a healthy and thriving relationship. In a recent anonymous poll, we asked our audience about their views on the importance of emotional intimacy and what barriers they face when trying to establish a deep connection with their spouse. The results were eye-opening, shedding light on the significance of emotional closeness and the challenges couples often encounter.

The Power of Emotional Intimacy:

In our poll, we asked whether emotional intimacy should come before physical intimacy, and an overwhelming 94% of respondents agreed that it should. This resounding affirmation emphasizes the critical role that emotional connection plays in building a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.

However, it’s worth noting that building emotional intimacy is not always straightforward, as our respondents pointed out.

The Barriers to Emotional Intimacy:

  1. Communication Issues:
    • For 24% of those who participated in our poll, communication issues emerged as a significant barrier to emotional intimacy. Effective communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. When couples struggle to express their thoughts and feelings openly and honestly, it can lead to emotional disconnection.
  2. Lack of Connection Outside the Bedroom:
    • A staggering 38% of respondents cited this as their primary intimacy barrier. This result highlights the importance of nurturing emotional bonds in everyday life. The emotional connection experienced beyond the bedroom is a strong indicator of the overall health of the relationship.
  3. Resentment from Past Issues:
    • Approximately 25% of participants identified past issues and unresolved resentments as obstacles to emotional intimacy. Carrying past conflicts and grudges can hinder the growth of emotional closeness, creating a wall between partners.
  4. Lack of Foreplay in the Bedroom:
    • Surprisingly, only 14% of those surveyed identified a lack of foreplay in the bedroom as a barrier to emotional intimacy. This suggests that, for many, the emotional aspect of intimacy carries more weight than the physical.

Building Strong Emotional Intimacy:

For those who recognize the importance of emotional intimacy in their relationship and wish to overcome the barriers, there are several key strategies to consider:

1. Communication is Key:

  • Address communication issues by engaging in open and honest conversations with your spouse. Practice active listening and empathy to ensure you both feel heard and understood.

Communicating is often hard, especially if it is a subject that causes contention in the relationship. However it is vital to discuss everything in your relationship. If you have a hard time having good communication, or discussing tough topics, you may enjoy the conversation starters we have on the Ultimate Intimacy App. They are a great way to prompt good conversations in an easy way!

2. Prioritize Emotional Connection:

  • Spend quality time together outside of the bedroom. Activities like taking evening walks, enjoying a dinner date, or simply talking without distractions can foster emotional intimacy.

3. Resolve Past Conflicts:

  • Work on resolving past issues and resentments. Seek therapy or counseling if necessary to facilitate the healing process.

4. Revitalize the Bedroom:

  • While the physical aspect is secondary, it’s still crucial. Invest time in foreplay, exploring each other’s desires, and ensuring that your physical connection enhances rather than hinders your emotional closeness.

You may also enjoy this great podcast episode 97. What Are Your Communication Styles?.. And How Knowing Your Style Can Change Your Marriage.


Emotional intimacy is a fundamental element in a thriving relationship. The results of our recent poll show that most people value emotional connection above all else.

By addressing communication issues, nurturing emotional bonds outside of the bedroom, resolving past conflicts, and revitalizing physical intimacy, couples can build a deep and lasting emotional connection. Remember, building emotional intimacy is an ongoing journey that requires effort, patience, and understanding from both spouses.

Ultimate Intimacy

If you want to build a strong emotional and physical connection like never before, you need to download the Ultimate Intimacy App! The Ultimate Intimacy App has helped hundreds of thousands of couples just like yourself find Ultimate Intimacy in their relationship. Download for free today!

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