Effective communication is a fundamental component of any successful relationship, especially in marriage. A lack of communication can result in misunderstandings, resentment, and even the breakdown of a relationship. There are three primary types of communication: nonverbal, verbal, and written, and each one plays a critical role in maintaining a healthy relationship.
To have excellent communication skills in marriage, it is essential to learn how to listen. During emotionally charged moments, couples can have a power struggle as they both try to express their needs and wants. Learning to listen to each other and let each other talk without interruption is an important skill. Listening means trying to understand what your spouse is saying and resisting the urge to interrupt them when they are speaking. In heated arguments, it can be helpful to take turns holding an object to facilitate communication and ensure that each person has a chance to speak.
Check out this great article: Why Communication Is The Cornerstone For A Successful Marriage
Respect is another crucial component of good communication in a marriage. Married couples who learn to solve problems together with respect will always win. There is never a reason to talk down to or degrade your spouse. Yelling, using unkind words, or cursing at your spouse demonstrates a lack of respect. Showing your spouse that you love and care for them, even when you are angry or disagreeing, is a sign of respect.
Body language is also an essential part of nonverbal communication. Your body language can convey how you are feeling and whether you are listening to your spouse. Crossing your arms, walking away, or turning away can send the message that you or your spouse don’t want to connect. Paying attention to your body language during conversations is vital to showing your spouse that you care about them, whether you are happy or angry.
To have effective communication in marriage, it is necessary to truly care about your spouse’s feelings and value them. You have to be vulnerable and let your spouse be vulnerable. Being open with each other and telling your spouse how you feel while asking them how they feel is crucial. If you want your spouse to be your best friend, you have to tell them everything.
Words can hurt deeply, and once spoken, they cannot be taken back. It is essential to speak to each other with love and kindness always. During a heated discussion, it is easy to get distracted and bring up past issues, but it is crucial to focus on the current problem and find a solution together. Try to understand your spouse’s point of view and put yourself in their shoes. Learn from each other and respect each other’s opinions, even if they differ from your own.
When receiving criticism, it is easy to get defensive, or change the subject especially when it comes from your spouse. It is essential to listen to the other person’s pain and respond with empathy for their feelings. Try to look for the facts in what they’re saying and take that as valuable information for your marriage.
Using “I” statements instead of “you” statements during a conversation can change the dynamic of the conversation. Your spouse doesn’t want to be blamed all the time. Saying things like “I feel…” or “I think…” instead of “You did…” will help your spouse feel less attacked and more willing to engage in the conversation.
In a heated conversation, taking a break can be beneficial. Instead of walking away or storming out of the room, try saying, “I need a few minutes of fresh air. I will be right back.” This approach allows you to take a small break to calm down and continue the conversation once you are both in a better headspace.
Finally, reconnecting after an argument or connecting physically during discussions is a great way to make your spouse feel safe. Even if the conversation is heated, putting your hand gently on their shoulder or leg can demonstrate that the relationship is secure and safe, and that you love them.
You may also enjoy this podcast episode: 97. What Are Your Communication Styles?.. And How Knowing Your Style Can Change Your Marriage
Check out our great communication workbooks for emotional and sexual intimacy! These workbooks can help you have better communication in and out of the bedroom and help you break down the barriers that are keeping you from having the intimacy you desire!
