You may also enjoy this podcast episode 171. Exposing The Most Common Reasons Couples Stop Having Sexual Intimacy.
There are SO many reasons couples stop having sex. The problem is when sexual intimacy stops happening for whatever reason (or is less frequent), then couples start disconnecting both sexually and emotionally, and growing apart, because sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy go hand in hand.
If you listen to our podcast regularly, you know the importance of sexual intimacy in marriage that we continually talk about. In this episode, we talk about the most common reasons couples stop having sex and identify the things you can do to make sexual intimacy a priority in your relationship!
Sexual Intimacy is a vital component of a healthy marriage, strengthening the emotional bond between a couple, and fostering a sense of closeness. However, for some individuals, the prospect of sexual intimacy can evoke feelings of fear, anxiety, or even aversion.
Let’s explore the reasons why a spouse might perceive sex as a negative experience and discuss constructive ways to overcome these challenges, promoting a fulfilling and satisfying intimate relationship.
1. Past Trauma or Abuse: One of the most common reasons for sexual aversion is past trauma or abuse. Survivors of sexual assault or abuse may develop a deep-seated fear associated with intimate situations, making it difficult to engage in consensual sexual activities without experiencing extreme anxiety.
2. Body Image Issues: Negative body image can lead to self-consciousness and anxiety during intimate moments. Feeling insecure about one’s physical appearance might create a barrier to sexual intimacy, as the individual may fear judgment or rejection from their spouse.
3. Performance Anxiety: The pressure to perform well in bed can be overwhelming for some individuals. Fear of not meeting their spouse’s expectations, concerns about erectile dysfunction, or worries about premature ejaculation can lead to anxiety and avoidance of sexual encounters.
If you have performance anxiety, check out some of the amazing products we have to help in the bedroom.
4. Religious or Cultural Beliefs: Certain religious or cultural backgrounds may instill rigid beliefs about sex, associating it with guilt or shame. These deeply ingrained beliefs can create a negative perception of sex, making it challenging for individuals to embrace intimacy without feeling morally conflicted.
5. Mental Health Conditions: Mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety disorders, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can significantly impact one’s ability to engage in sexual activities. These conditions may cause a lack of interest in sex, decreased libido, or heightened anxiety during intimate moments.
Ways to Overcome Negative Perceptions of Sex
1. Open Communication: Encourage open and honest communication together. Create a safe space where both spouses can express their concerns, fears, and desires without judgment. Active listening and empathy are essential components of effective communication.
2. Seek Professional Help: Consider therapy or counseling, both individually and as a couple. A trained therapist can help navigate the underlying issues causing sexual aversion, offering coping strategies and techniques tailored to the individual’s needs.
3. Practice Self-Compassion: Encourage self-compassion and self-love. Work on building self-confidence and accepting your body. Engage in activities that promote a positive self-image, such as exercise, meditation, or pursuing hobbies that bring joy.
4. Educate Yourselves: Educate yourselves about sexuality, intimacy, and each other’s desires. Understanding each other’s needs and preferences can create a more relaxed and comfortable atmosphere during intimate moments.
We have a ton of great articles and resources in the Ultimate Intimacy App that covers just about every topic related to sexual intimacy such as techniques, anatomy, and so much more. Download today!
5. Gradual Exposure: Take a gradual approach to intimacy. Start with non-sexual forms of physical affection, such as cuddling, holding hands, or kissing. Gradually progress to more intimate activities at a pace that feels comfortable for both partners.
6. Patience and Understanding: Be patient with the process. Overcoming sexual aversion takes time, effort, and understanding from both partners. Avoid pressure and allow the spouse experiencing anxiety to set the pace for intimate encounters.
Conclusion:
Remember, every individual and relationship is unique, so finding what works best for both spouses is key to overcoming these obstacles and building a strong, healthy, and satisfying marriage.
Couples need to talk openly about their sexpectations in the relationship. Check out this great podcast episode 138. Sexpectations In Marriage.. And Why You Need To Talk About Them Together!
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