In our previous blog article “Getting The Toxic People Out Of Your Life… And Why You Need To Do It,” we looked at many of the different toxic behaviors and the differences between healthy and toxic behaviors.
In this article, we dive even deeper with the different types of toxic behaviors and how to deal with them. We understand sometimes it may be difficult but there are ways to deal with these behaviors. Sometimes the behavior is very hard to identify and doesn’t get exposed until down the road, but like many things, if you know what to look for, you can protect yourself from letting these people negatively impact your life.
Here are the different types of toxic behaviors:
A Narcissist
Narcissists also ALWAYS want to look good to other people. They will act nice and pleasant while around other people, but can come off the handle and be a totally different person in private. Narcissists are very good at putting on a good show. They also put down others to make themselves look good. They are ALWAYS blaming others, have a short fuse and get mad easily, and everything is all about them all the time. Narcissists also tend to inflict emotional pain to their victims in the form of “emotional abuse” and sometimes even physical abuse. If you see these attributes, you can be confident you are dealing with a narcissist.
I have dealt with narcissists in my life and the two things I have learned is first, narcissists absolutely are scared to death to be exposed for who they are. They want everyone to think they are the most amazing people in the world. Exposing them scares them like crazy. The second way to deal with a narcissist is to stand up to them. Narcissists are bullies and are use to getting their way. Bullies dont like it when they are stood up too. I am not saying to get confrontational, but I am saying remove yourself from them or stand up to them.
A Manipulator
A manipulator has little to no regard for your or your feelings, or damage they cause to you. They are only concerned about getting what they want. They will use you, steer you, and manipulate you to get what they want even if they have to lie or steal.
To stand up to a manipulator, let them know you know they are manipulating you and you won’t stand for it anymore and distance yourself from them.
Negativity
Someone who is always negative and can’t find the positive in things (they look at the glass half empty instead of half full), and are always speaking negative and looking for the negative in others. They are always talking negatively about their problems, or others and never seem to want to find a solution. They seem like they thrive on negativity. This type of person can bring you down as misery loves company. Many times we think we can help someone like this but more often they bring others down.
If you are around this type of person, speak positively and surround them (and you) with other positive people. If that does not work, then you need to distance yourself from them. Be open and honest with them about how you feel when you are around them and that you want to have more positivity in your life. Be honest with them about how you feel and let them know you will have to cut them out of your life if needed.
The Taker
This type of person is always taking and never offering anything in return. They take your time, energy, and always talk about themselves. If you leave every interaction or conversation with them feeling mentally exhausted or worn out, then that is a good sign you are dealing with “a taker.”
Determine how much time you are willing (or can handle) to spend with them, or remove yourself from their lives. No one wants to be in a one sided relationship where there is nothing positive in it for them.
Compulsive Liar
A compulsive liar will do or say anything. In fact, they lie so much they often dont even know they are lying as it becomes second nature to them. There is a great line in Seinfeld where Jerry ask’s George how to beat the lie detector test and George says “Jerry, it’s not a lie if you believe it.” Compulsive liars often lie so much and become so convincing, they often get you to start doubting yourself.
You have to get away from a compulsive liar. If you can’t trust someone, why would you ever want to even be around them.
The Gossiper
This is someone who is always taking behind someones back, tearing them down or tarnishing their reputation while speaking to others. This type of person also like to get others involved and feeds off of others gossiping.
Gossiping is a behavior that we all tend to participate in at some level and it happens more often when we are around this type of behavior. If the gossiper is willing to speak ill of someone behind their back, why would they not be willing to speak ill of you to others? Be very careful about what you say to a gossiper and try to stay away from this behavior. This is one of those behaviors that it is easy to jump on the bandwagon if we are not careful.
The Controller
This type of person has to control everything in your life. They need to know where you are at all times, to know what you are spending money on, who you are hanging out with and don’t want to see you make your own choices, but want to make and control your decisions.
This type of person is very toxic and is a type of abuse. Stay away from the people that control (or want to control) your life.
The Meddler
The meddler is someone who gets involved in everything. This can be a nosey inlaw, neighbor or co worker that is all up in your business. They insert themselves, and their opinions in your life and are always giving you their input on things they shouldn’t be involved in. These type of people don’t respect your boundaries.
Let them know the boundaries you do have and what you expect from them. Let them know you will ask for their opinion or advice if you want it, or distance yourself from them.
It is so important identify these type of people in your life and separate yourself from them (the best you can). You will have a much happier and successful life when you do!
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