A common question we get is: “How can I build deeper intimacy in my marriage?” or the term we often use is “ultimate intimacy.” For couples looking to deepen their connection and relationship there are some key things that they need to do. In this article, we will discuss the things couples can do to find “ultimate intimacy” or build a deeper connection in their marriage.
Most people when they think of the word Intimacy, they think of sex; While sex plays a HUGE role in marriage and happiness, it is so much more. It is also about the deep emotional connection that two individuals share with each other. Building this type of deep intimacy takes time and effort, but it is worth it in the long run. So let’s jump in to the key things couples need to deepen their intimacy.
Communication is key
Effective communication is the foundation of any successful marriage. Couples need to be able to communicate their feelings, thoughts, and needs with each other. It is important to listen actively and respond with empathy. When one spouse is speaking, the other should listen without interrupting or becoming defensive. This creates a safe space for both spouses to share their thoughts and feelings.
Couples that have good communication can talk about anything together, and can resolve issues quickly and effectively. Don’t underestimate the importance of communication in marriage.
Prioritize quality time
Spending quality time with each other is essential to building intimacy. Chances are when you were dating, you spent a lot of good quality time together. This is how you fell in love! If you want to keep falling in love and connecting on a deeper level, you have to prioritize your relationship and that includes spending quality time together.
It is important to set aside time for each other without any distractions, such as phones or television, and to go on frequent date nights! We recommend once a week when possible. This date night time can be used to talk, cuddle, or do something that both of you enjoy. When couples spend time together, they create memories and experiences that strengthen their bond.
Sexual Intimacy
Physical touch and sexual intimacy is a crucial aspect of building intimacy. When couples make love, it releases oxytocin, which is known as the “love hormone” and promotes feelings of closeness and trust. Other types of physical intimacy include holding hands, hugging, kissing, or cuddling. These can all contribute to building intimacy. It is important to be intentional about physical touch and not just reserve it for sexual encounters. However you need to make sexual intimacy a priority in your relationship.
Unfortunately for many couples, sexual intimacy becomes something they put on the bottom of the “to do” list. Couples waist time on social media, tv, or other time wasters and then are too tired for sexual intimacy. If this sounds familiar, or there are always things that are getting in the way from being sexually intimate, check out our article “Are you being kept out of the marriage bed?“
You cannot have a great marriage where BOTH spouses are happy, without frequent sexual intimacy in the relationship where both spouses are happy. If you look at good marriages, those couples are having fulfilling sexual intimacy together.
Check out podcast episode 120. Is Sex A Thermometer That Can Gauge The Temperature Of Your Marriage?
For many couples, this means making the time for sexual intimacy. Another great idea that helps a lot of couples is scheduling sexual intimacy. For many women, they need to be physically and mentally ready for sex rather than being spontaneous. Try scheduling sex or at least considering it. This article may be a great help “The Case For Scheduling Sex.”
Be vulnerable
Being vulnerable can be difficult, but it is essential to building intimacy. Vulnerability means being open and honest about your feelings and experiences, even if they are difficult to share. It creates a deeper level of trust and understanding between partners. It is important to create a safe space where both spouses feel comfortable sharing their vulnerabilities.
Practice gratitude
Expressing gratitude towards each other can go a long way in building intimacy. It is important to acknowledge and appreciate each other for the things they do, no matter how small. This creates a positive atmosphere in the relationship and helps both partners feel valued and appreciated.
Building deeper intimacy in marriage requires effort and dedication. Effective communication, quality time, physical touch, vulnerability, and gratitude are all essential aspects of building intimacy. It is important to remember that building intimacy is a journey, and it takes time and patience. By practicing these tips, couples can build a deeper emotional connection and strengthen their relationship and find the “ultimate intimacy” the are looking for in their relationship.
Ultimate Intimacy
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