In most marriages, the topic of physical intimacy often takes center stage. While some may view sex as a mere want or desire, it goes beyond that; it is a fundamental “need” that plays a pivotal role in the health and longevity of a marriage.
Don’t take our word for it, check out our poll with our massive audience on social media. 99% said it is absolutely a “need” in marriage! This was not just among men, but both men and women who responded.
Now let’s talk about the various reasons why sex is not just a “want” but an essential “need” in the context of a committed healthy relationship.
The Reasons Why Sex Is A “Need” In A Healthy Relationship
Physical Health Benefits: Engaging in regular sexual activity has been linked to various physical health benefits, including improved cardiovascular health, immune system support, and even pain relief. These positive effects contribute to an overall healthier lifestyle for both spouses.
Emotional Connection: Sex is a powerful means of establishing and maintaining emotional intimacy in a marriage. The release of oxytocin, often referred to as the “bonding hormone,” during sexual activity fosters feelings of closeness, trust, and connection between a couple.
You hear us talk about how emotional and sexual intimacy go hand in hand. When the sexual intimacy is not present, spouses almost always pull away emotionally as well. You rarely ever see a relationship where there is good emotional intimacy but no sexual intimacy.
You may enjoy this blog article titled: The Correlation Between Emotional Intimacy And Sexual Intimacy.
There is a profound connection between emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy. These two facets of human connection are not isolated from each other but rather deeply intertwined.
When emotional intimacy flourishes, so does sexual intimacy, and vice versa. In a recent poll we did, 83% of our audience stated that their marriage could use more emotional connection. Read more…
Stress Reduction: Sex has proven stress-reducing effects. Intimacy helps release endorphins, the body’s natural stress relievers, promoting relaxation and emotional well-being. In the face of life’s challenges, a healthy sex life can be a crucial coping mechanism for couples.
Communication and Vulnerability: Physical intimacy involves a level of vulnerability and communication that extends beyond words. Partners learn to understand and respond to each other’s non-verbal cues, fostering a deeper connection and enhancing overall communication in the relationship.
Fulfillment of Biological Needs: From a biological standpoint, sexual activity serves the purpose of procreation. While this may not always be the primary goal for couples, engaging in sex aligns with our innate biological drive, contributing to a sense of fulfillment and purpose in a marriage.
Enhanced Mood and Happiness: Sexual activity triggers the release of dopamine, the “feel-good” neurotransmitter. This surge in dopamine levels contributes to an improved mood and increased feelings of happiness, positively impacting the emotional atmosphere within the marriage.
Prevention of Infidelity: A lack of sexual satisfaction within a marriage can potentially lead to feelings of frustration and dissatisfaction, increasing the likelihood of seeking intimacy outside the relationship. By prioritizing sexual needs within the marriage, couples will reduce the risk of infidelity drastically.
Identity and Self-Esteem: Sexual satisfaction plays a crucial role in shaping an individual’s sense of identity and self-esteem. Feeling desired and fulfilled within the marital bond contributes to a positive self-image and reinforces a strong sense of self-worth.
You may also enjoy this podcast episode: 216. Why Your Marriage Can’t Survive Without BOTH The “Emotional” And “Physical” Intimacy.
We are going to probably get a lot of blowback from this episode from people declaring that you don’t need physical intimacy (or sex) to be happy. And although there might be a very select few instances where both spouses have no sexual desire, for most couples that is not the case.
Here is the reason why. In the majority of marriages, there is a high desire spouse (sexually) and a low desire spouse. The low desire spouse does not need sexual intimacy to be happy, but the high desire spouse does.
So as we have talked about before in previous episodes, the low desires spouse typically controls everything related to sex. If the high desire spouse is not getting their physical needs met, they are typically going to stop providing the emotional needs. This is the toxic game played in many marriages. Check out episode 116. Is This Toxic Emotional And Sexual Intimacy Game Being Played In Your Marriage?In this episode, we talk about why BOTH the emotional and physical intimacy is needed in marriage.
Long-Term Relationship Satisfaction: Research indicates a positive correlation between sexual satisfaction and overall relationship satisfaction. Couples who prioritize their sexual connection often report higher levels of happiness and contentment in their long-term relationships.
Intimacy as a Glue: In essence, sex serves as a unique form of glue that binds couples together. It creates a shared, intimate space that is exclusive to the marital relationship, strengthening the emotional bond and providing a solid foundation for the partnership.
Conclusion: Recognizing sex as a fundamental need in marriage goes beyond acknowledging physical desires; it involves understanding the intricate ways in which physical intimacy contributes to the overall health and vitality of a relationship. By prioritizing this aspect of their connection, couples can cultivate a stronger, more resilient, and fulfilling marital bond.
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