10 Jul

You’re probably asking yourself “Why is Ultimate Intimacy talking about the reasons why a spouse would have an affair?”

Our audience and the people that primarily read our articles, use the app, and listen to the podcast typically have good marriages and are looking for ways to make it even better. But we also recognize that if couples aren’t constantly striving to improve their marriages, and aren’t putting things into place to protect their marriages, then things can happen.. and sometimes happen quickly without even realizing it.

In this article, we are going to discuss the reasons why people have affairs, and what you can do to protect your marriage. Although there are reasons as to why people do this, it is completely unacceptable and no one should justify or make excuses for this behavior.

You may also enjoy this podcast episode 167. Understanding The Reasons Behind Infidelity: Unveiling The Hidden Struggles In A Marriage

Infidelity is a challenging and deeply hurtful issue that affects many relationships. When a spouse engages in an affair, it is often a symptom of deeper problems within the marriage.

We will explore some common reasons why a spouse may have an affair, shedding light on the emotional and relational struggles that can lead to such actions. Understanding these underlying factors can help couples navigate their relationships with greater awareness and address the issues at hand before they escalate.

Unmet Emotional Needs

One of the primary reasons individuals seek intimacy outside of their marriage is due to unmet emotional needs in the relationship. When spouses do not feel understood, appreciated, or supported, they may seek solace, support, love and appreciations elsewhere.

Emotional disconnection in a relationship can leave a spouse vulnerable to the attention and validation offered by someone else. If you are in a relationship where your emotional needs are not being heard or met, talk about it together and if needed, seek professional help.

Unfulfilled Sexual Needs

Issues with sexual intimacy and frequency can be a significant contributor to infidelity. Don’t believe us? Look up what the most common reasons for divorce and infidelity are. You may also remember a poll we did that showed over 90% of couples stated that sexual intimacy plays a huge roll in their happiness in marriage.

When one spouses sexual needs are ignored, disregarded and not being met, they may feel neglected, unloved or unfulfilled, leading them to seek physical intimacy outside the marriage. Open communication, compromise, and a willingness to address and explore each other’s desires can help prevent this type of dissatisfaction from driving a wedge between spouses.

It is vital for couples to communicate openly and honestly about how they feel, and what their sexpectations are in the marriage.

Check out our great podcast episode 138. Sexpectations In Marriage.. And Why You Need To Talk About Them Together!

Feeling Undesired or Unloved

Feeling unloved or undesirable within a relationship can push a spouse to seek affirmation elsewhere. Each individual has their own unique love language, and if it is not effectively communicated and reciprocated, it can lead to feelings of emotional neglect.

Regular expressions of love, appreciation, and desire can help create a stronger bond and prevent the temptation to seek validation outside of the marriage. It is important for couples to express this to each other.

Getting to know your spouses love language can also help greatly so you can show love in the way your spouse receives it. It is also important to talk about this often and love languages can change with time and based upon what someone is going through.

What Do You Do When Your Love Languages Are Different.. And Knowing Your Spouses Love Language Isn’t Working?

Lack of Boundaries

Maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial in any relationship. When boundaries are absent or not clearly defined, it can create opportunities for emotional and physical connections outside of the marriage.

Engaging in conversations on social media, not wearing wedding rings, or spending excessive time with members of the opposite sex can blur the lines of fidelity. Establishing clear boundaries and discussing expectations can help protect the integrity of the relationship.

109. What Are The Differences Between Rules And Boundaries… And Why You Should Consider Boundaries To Protect Your Marriage

It is amazing how many couples do not establish boundaries in their marriage, or even talk about what is or isn’t acceptable in the relationship. We have seen a lot of marriages fail because couples don’t talk about boundaries in their marriage before they are crossed.

Letting Your Guard Down

Sometimes, an affair can happen due to a momentary lapse in judgment or vulnerability. This can occur when a spouse becomes complacent in the relationship, leading to a sense of boredom or stagnation.

Contacting someone on social media or seeking attention outside the marriage can be driven by a desire for excitement and novelty. By actively working to keep the marriage vibrant and engaging, couples can reduce the chances of infidelity.

Lack of Excitement in the Marriage

The absence of excitement and adventure in a marriage can contribute to dissatisfaction and a yearning for something more. When the relationship becomes predictable and monotonous, individuals may be tempted to seek excitement elsewhere.

It is important for couples to invest time and effort into nurturing their connection, exploring new experiences together, and injecting fresh energy into their relationship to keep the flame alive.

The most important thing a couple can do is do regular date night. Couples who continue to date each other have strong and healthy relationships that are protected from infidelity.

Infidelity is a complex issue that often stems from underlying problems within a marriage. By addressing the emotional, sexual, and relational needs of both spouses, setting clear boundaries, and maintaining a sense of excitement, couples can build a strong foundation for a fulfilling and committed relationship. Open communication, understanding, and a shared commitment to working through challenges can help prevent infidelity and create a lasting bond based on trust, love, and mutual respect.

Ultimate Intimacy


To bring back excitement, romance, passion, and sexual intimacy in your marriage check out the most amazing app for couples… Ultimate Intimacy! It’s free to download and will transform your relationship.

Find out why over 600,000 couples have downloaded the app and give it a 4.8/5 star rating in the App Store! Download for free today!

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